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 Today I take you in my arms and hold you in a gentle hug. A hug that includes all the loved ones we are missing today. A hug that might send a smile to your lips while thinking of them. A hug that gives you warmth and understanding for the pain in your heart. I am here for you. Take good care, Jacqueline  At a networking event last week a woman told me that she had looked after her mother for the last couple of years. Her mother had Alzheimer's. She had to say good-bye to the mother that had raised her, to the friend that had been there for her when no-one else was, to the laughter and hardships of life they had shared. The strong woman she had known disappeared before her eyes. Going through that process she grieved all these parts of their life together. She said good-bye to her mother in many ways over the years. A few months back her mother died. Her friends tell her that she is now finally able to grief the loss of her mother. She told me that it was not grief that she was feeling. “I’m in a state of healing after all the years of saying good-bye. Finally I’m able to heal.” In that instance, I could feel the love she shared with her mother and the joy of her soul that she spoke her truth. Wherever you are on your healing path take one step at the time to move forward. You are healing. What is it you need to move from overwhelming grief to a calmer state of healing? If you feel OK to share your experience please do so in the comments. You might just help someone else. Take good care, Jacqueline PS: If the tears don't stop and you need a compassionate and listening person outside your usual circle of friends and family I'm here. 
Jackie explains,
"After my mother died, I felt an inexplicable push to create a book about grief. Words couldn't possibly capture the mess I felt, and so I used illustrations. The process of making the illustrations was deeply painful because it required me to face and capture every inch of my aching heart. There were weeks and even months that I couldn't work on the book because it hurt too much. I finally forced myself to finish the book by working on it daily and setting timers that counted how many minutes I had to sit there. My intention was to create a book that normalized the mess of grief and reached out to others who felt alone. I wanted to do this because I felt so alone. What I never expected was the joy that Grief is a Mess would bring back to me. Whenever someone points to an illustration in the book and says, "That's how I feel!" it's as if my soul connects with another. Every time I share the book with others, stories inevitably come pouring out that help me to see I am not alone. The book gently opens the door to conversations about grief and affords me the opportunity to connect with others on a topic that once was difficult to express. I never expected such richness to come into my life, especially not from something that originated in the mess that is grief."
 May the coming days be filled with light and healing. Your loved ones are with you in your heart and your memories. Celebrate them, talk about them, and if you feel like it prepare a little gift for them. (smile) I always buy my mother's favourite flowers and in my mind's eye I see her smile. I wish you a blessed Holiday Season with supportive friends and family that are there for you when you need them. From my heart to yours, Jacqueline  Holidays are coming our way. With them there might be even more reminders of the times we had with our loved ones. But instead of dreading these reminders I am challenging you to embrace them. Yes, step gently into your fun and sad memories. Share them, laugh about them, write them down and share them at a family dinner or with friends. Did you notice that I wrote share them twice? (smile) At first, you might find it difficult to share your memories. Every time you do it the memories become lighter, more colourful, perhaps even more joyful. You might even find yourself crying and laughing at the same time. Will it be easy? Probably not. Will you enjoy it? Perhaps not always. Will you feel more at ease? Perhaps. You can only find your own answers by stepping into the challenge and share your loved one’s life with others. Let me know how it goes here. From my heart to yours, Jacqueline |
AuthorJacqueline Steudler is an Art Therapist and Grief Recovery Specialist®. Categories
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