Category: Griefsupport

Finding your next step in life after loss

16/7/2017

Give yourself the support system you need. It might include asking for help. -HealingForGrievingHearts.com

It isn’t easy to find the next step in life when you experience overwhelming grief. The sadness and despair over the death of your loved one might sometimes feel unbearable. Hang in there.

Scenario 1
Your loved one was a part of your next steps. You had dreams and plans for the future together. There was a gentle understanding between the two of you what would come next. Now that she/he is gone you have no future steps to take.

Scenario 2
Your loved one was not in agreement with your vision of the future. Still you tried to move both of you to that dream of yours. You negotiated and fought for it. Now that he/she is gone you have no further steps to take.

Both scenarios leave you behind with unfulfilled wishes and dreams. Dreams and wishes that were directly linked to your loved one. No matter if it was a struggle or not. You might also feel regret that you didn’t move faster. That you waited too long because you didn’t know that your time together would be cut short.

Now what?

The next step is something that only you can take. It will be a step of mourning these wishes and dreams as well as the loss of your loved one.

Yes, it is a whole life that you had envisioned that has gone as well with the death of your loved one.

You are still here. Your love for him/her is still within you. Your dreams are still lingering and it hurts like hell that you can’t change the past.

The next step is to find a support system that will help you mourn the loved one you have lost. Help you grieve the dreams and wishes that might not possible anymore without them.

The next step for you can be rituals that help you in your unique grieving process. I already wrote about the possibilities of rituals. You can find all these posts here.

Take good care and don't hesitate to reach out,
Jacqueline

How simple movements can help you when you are grieving

3/5/2017

Tears are a sign that our Well of Love is overflowing. -HealingForGrievingHearts.com

I often talk about how much walking in nature helps me to relax and to centre myself when I feel overwhelmed by feelings. These feelings can be grief, anger, sadness, fatigue ...

It is not only the fresh air and the walking but also the changed breathing pattern that helps me to relax and open my mind to new insights.

Grieving can be a very physical sensation. There might be tension in our shoulders, back pain, or our nervous system becomes out of balance. The shock of the reality we are facing can lead us to a state of fight-flight response. Our body reacts with stress symptoms like shallow breathing, a compromised immune system, our logical thinking might be impaired too, while we try to comprehend what has happened to our life as we knew it.

What can we do to find a new balance and taking care of ourselves?

According to Traditional Chinese Medicine the lungs are a key area where we might hold the energy of grief.
It is a good idea to open up our lungs by breathing deeply.

This can be accomplished by

standing or sitting
open up your arms wide as if you would want to embrace someone (breathe in)
give yourself a hug (breathing out)

Repeat as many times as you wish. I find 3-5 times a good number.

After you release your arms to your side take a deep breath and let it out with a sigh.

If at any point you feel tears well up please give yourself the space to cry.

Tears are a sign that our well of love is overflowing.

Let the tears flow. By doing so you acknowledge your feelings. You release energy that might otherwise block you from moving forward.

Let me know what your go to moves are so that I can share them with others.

Does humour help you when you are grieving?

31/1/2017

I work with my art therapy clients in person or online by Skype if they live far away or don’t feel they can make it out of the house that day.

When I help a client navigate through their grieving process in person we meet at the art studio. The studio is a good size and the windows give the room a feel of lightness.

The room is separated from the other artist studios on the same floor. If one laughs out loud others outside the studio might hear it in the hallway.

One day after one of the Healing for Grieving Hearts sessions one of the artists, that knows about the work I do, said: “I was so surprised to hear laughter coming out of the studio. Don’t you work with grieving people?"

I was surprised that she would just assume, that when navigating through the process of grief, that humour and laughter would not be a part of it.

If you have met me in person, you know that humour is a big part of my personality. (smile)

If one of my clients tells a funny story about the loved one that has died then we laugh together. Why wouldn’t we? It isn’t that we are making fun of them. The opposite, we acknowledge all sides of their life by sharing these too.

Grieving doesn’t have to be all tears and gloom. Yes, there are times that humour won’t cut it, then a joke does not support a broken heart, and the soul winces thinking of being around cheerful people.

But then, who doesn’t have a funny story to tell about their loved one? No really, seriously, who doesn’t?

I wonder what would happen if we all would start to talk more about those stories and have a good laugh until the tears of humour and sadness tumble down our cheeks?

I wonder. …and you?

Sending you healing with a smile,
Jacqueline

Which word will transform your new year?

11/1/2017

Give yourself permission to take steps to fly. HealingForGrievingHearts.com

Happy New Year!
May it be a blessed one filled with good health, colourful days, and healing.

I hope you had a good start into the new year and that the holiday season treated you gently. It isn't always easy to get through those days of celebration when we don't feel like it.

When talking to people about their wishes for the new year they often mentioned that they chose a word for the new year.

I do that on a regular basis too. It helps me to take new steps and supports my wish for the new beginning. Plus the word can change during the year. 💜

Last year’s word was self-care. I managed quite well until the fall. Then work got busy and I forgot to keep myself accountable on my self-care promise. The result was a pinched nerve in my back mid December. Ouch! Still recuperating but I am much better.

This year’s word is Create.

I want to create:

helpful content for you
moments to relax and enjoy life
an online course that will help initiate healing
time to read, see friends more often, and go for long walks
meditations, paintings, and creative walks

If you would chose a word for 2017, what would it be? What will support you on your healing path?

Please share your word. 💜

Take good care,
Jacqueline

How to prepare for the Holidays when you are grieving

1/12/2016

Listen to your grieving Heart - HealingForGrievingHearts.com

Are you prepared for the cheer, the family images of happy people, the songs that might remind you of better days?

If you have lost someone this year it might be the first Holiday Season without them.

You might experience a flood of feelings or go numb and feel nothing at all.

It can help if you start to prepare yourself for the coming days counting down to Christmas.

1. Think about what you can and cannot do this year

A well meant invitation to a concert or a tree lighting might be too much for you. Even if your friends and family try to cheer you up with the things that you always loved during this time you might feel overwhelmed and fearful to fall apart in public. Take good care of yourself and gently decline invitations that are too stressful.

2. Be honest

Who do you want to have around for Christmas? Talk to your friends and family members how you want to celebrate. Who else in your circle is grieving? Could you help each other? Be open to new ideas.

3. Accept help from others

It is difficult to ask for help from others. Sometimes it is even harder to accept help, especially if you have been in charge of the holidays in other years.

4. Prepare a ritual to honour your loved one

Buy their favourite flowers. Cook that special dessert. Go for a walk in nature and light a candle at a cherished place. Share stories and memories of your loved one.

5. Which traditions do you want to keep?

Your friends and family might try to change things up in an effort to help you. Be clear and honest about your feelings and what you want to happen.

Whatever you decide to do or not to do it is your truth. There is no right or wrong way.

Take good care and don’t hesitate to reach out if you feel the need to talk. I am here for you.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

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Finding your next step in life after loss

How simple movements can help you when you are grieving

Does humour help you when you are grieving?

Which word will transform your new year?

How to prepare for the Holidays when you are grieving

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