Category: Griefsupport

Let nature help you heal your grieving heart

16/11/2016

Heal your grief. Walk in Nature.

You have heard me saying this many times.

Walking in nature can have a healing impact.

My tendency when I feel stuck in my thoughts is to get busy and take on more work than I can handle. This goes on until my body tells me it is enough. I will get a sore throat or, like last week, my back will start to hurt.

These are my weak points. They are telling me to take a moment and reflect.

It also happens because by being busy I have forgotten to move. I am not doing my ten minute yoga practice and I don’t go for regular walks.

So after I had ‘suffered’ and taken pain killers all week. On Sunday, I decided it was enough and I started to do gentle yoga moves every time I felt the pain in my back.
Breathing a lot and yes, swearing was involved too, because it hurt.

Today I went on a half hour walk in a nearby park. The smells in the forest were uplifting and wonderful. It was a concoction of decaying leaves, needle and sap from the evergreens, and wet earth.

I feel so much better today. I know it has to do with movement and the experience in nature this afternoon. I can still feel where the pain was but it is so much better.

Do you think a walk in nature could help your grieving heart too?
I know it won’t take away all your hurt but it might just give you a bit of comfort.

Don’t wait for the right moment. Just get dressed and go for a half hour walk even if it is in your own backyard.

Be outside, take in the smell of the fall season, and let nature do its healing.

I am sending you healing love.

Take good care,

Jacqueline

When will my grief be over? When will I recover from all this sadness?

1/11/2016

Last week a former Canadian politician died in an airplane accident with three other people. My heart goes out for their families. I cannot imagine what they are going through.

This incident flooded me with memories and deep grief about my nephew’s death. He died eight years ago in a Cessna accident as well.

Often I am asked: When will my grief be over? When will I recover from all this sadness?

There is no right answer to it. Sadness and grief can flood our feelings all of a sudden when there is a trigger, like the one with the airplane crash.

Eight years ago, the feelings were overwhelming and the crying didn’t want to stop.

This week it was a reminder how much I miss and love him and how much I still grief his death. But there is a difference between then and today. The feelings of sorrow are more gentle and not overwhelming anymore.

When will my grief be over? When will I recover from all this sadness?

Perhaps the most honest answer is: It will never be over.

Your feelings of overwhelming sadness will change towards a gentler form. You will change. You will be a new you having witnessed and felt the death of a loved one.

This loss will make you more empathetic, more loving, and more carrying if you chose to go that path.

It might be difficult right now but I trust in your resilience and inner healing power.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

PS: While we are stepping into a darker season let me help you shine some light on your healing path. 💜 Click here and make an appointment for a free phone call.

Thanksgiving Ritual for your Grieving Heart

27/9/2016

Healing For Grieving Hearts - Rituals help to connect and heal.

Summer has moved on and Fall has started in earnest today or at least it was cold enough to remind me of what will come.

In two weeks we are celebrating Thanksgiving in Canada. It is a time of harvest, gratitude, and a time of family gatherings.

Stepping into the upcoming Holidays is not easy when you have lost a loved one. Their place at the table will be filled with memories, stories of their life, or a gentle minute of reflection.

I have talked many times about rituals. The coming Holidays might be easier on you, your family, and friends if you plan something special for these days. Rituals help to connect and heal.

Perhaps you all go for a walk together and take some colorful ribbons with you. Chose a tree and hang the ribbons on it.

One ribbon for your love to the person that died.
One ribbon including a wish for yourself or your family/friends.
A third one filled with gratitude for this day together or...

Hang as many ribbons as you wish. You could share your thoughts out loud or just hang your ribbons in silence on the tree.

This is also a ritual that you can do by yourself if you feel more comfortable this way.

I have done it by myself and with my family and both moments have their own unique calming feel to it, even when the tears are streaming.

Important is that you tell your friends and family how you want to spend the Holidays and be open to change your mind at the last second. (smile)

I am wishing you a gentle step into this new season.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

PS: If you don’t have any ribbons at home you might be able to find some at a local thrift store. Make sure you use fabric ribbons and not plastic ones. Nature will thank you. (smile)
PSS: If there are children involved you could add glass beads to the ribbons to add more colour.

Is mourning like breathing in and breathing out?

26/7/2016

The gentle Healing for Grieving Hearts program will help you to navigate through your unique grieving process.

You have lost someone. Each day unfolds in different ways and your mood changes.

How you feel right now might vary from two hours ago.

Grief is like a stress reaction. Our mind and body try to deal with a situation that implements a threat to our well-being. Like any other stress reaction it isn’t static nor the same for anyone.

Even if you have the feeling your grief is always there, if you look at your day closely you will experience that there are moments of relief.

Relief happens in small or brooder increments. Relief can happen when you work, when you are with others, when you read a book, when you do your laundry or cook. After those moments you might dive back into mourning.

Our focus moves back and forth between our loss and its implications and our immediate world with others and the present.

It is like many other processes in our body. We breathe in, we breathe out. We sleep, we are awake. Our muscles tens, our muscles relax.

We cannot breath in and out at the same time. We do it in cycles.

These cycles help us to stay healthy and engaged. These moments of relief show us our vigor and build upon our strengths.

Do you agree?
How do you experience your grief?

Let me know. I am happy to start a dialogue. I will answer all emails personally.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

When have you last taken a vacation?

21/6/2016

When have you last taken a vacation? I mean a real vacation. Leaving everything behind. Taking time to unwind and just be.

You might think: What has that to do with grief? What is she getting at?

Would you not like to take a time out from your grief, from feeling overwhelmed and sad?

You might think that it wouldn’t be right to look after yourself and invest in a day, weekend or even a week at the beach, on the river, reading on a mountain hill, or paint plain air in a public garden.

When we grieve we often neglect the things that can help balance our mood, that uplift our spirit, and help us heal.

What is the most enjoyable thing you liked to do by yourself before your loved one died?

If you did everything together and my prompt makes you even more heartbroken, take pen and paper and write all the things down that you enjoyed doing together. Perhaps these memories trigger tears but I hope that they also bring a smile to your lips thinking of all the adventures you shared.

Perhaps there is an activity that would not be too painful to take on again on your own. If you still can’t think of anything have a look at your childhood. What was it that you did a lot and that made you smile? It could be a small thing like jumping into a puddle.

This week I challenge you to take a time out.

Remember that you make your own rules. You can share your self-care time with a friend or family member. (smile)
It can be an hour long or a whole week. Just do it.

Let me know how it worked for you.

I am taking two weeks off. I will be in rainy and soggy Switzerland and might just take that jump into a puddle. I will be back with you on July 6.

Take good care of yourself,
Jacqueline

What does it mean to grieve? What can you do to get over it?

7/6/2016

If you have read my emails for the last couple of months you know what my answer is. (smile)

Grief is unique and everyone grieves in their own way. There are no stages that you can follow and then you are done and you can go back to live your life as before.

When your loved one dies not only is he or she gone, all your dreams and plans for the future are gone too.

Nothing can bring back that shared dream or plan because the person that was a part of it isn’t there anymore.

Take a piece of paper now and write down what your shared dreams were.
Seriously, do it right now. (smile)

You might feel emotional. This is normal. Grief shows us our reality. There is no denying, no talking ourselves out of our situation.

Grief shakes us up, it shows us how deep our love for the loved one was. It also shows us how much we cared for the dreams we had built together.

You can tell yourself: “OK. Let’s just accept reality and move on.” and it might help.

I have some other ideas:

Read out loud what you have written before and let it resonate in your heart.
If you like to draw or paint, capture your dreams visually.
Or go for a walk and find a place in nature that resonates with your shared dream.
Call a friend and get together with her or him and talk about the dreams. Important: Ask your friend to just listen and not comment on it and then get a hug. (smile)

Give your dreams a voice, acknowledge them and show your heart that you still care.

Please let me know if I can be of help in any way.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

Do I need counselling/art therapy?

23/5/2016

Have you asked yourself that question or has someone pointed it out to you?

Not everyone that is grieving needs counseling/art therapy.

You might grieve alone, talk to a friend after you have suffered a loss and you do not need a counsellor. If you feel your friends don’t understand your feelings and what you are going through, perhaps a counsellor might be helpful at one point. But don’t rush into it.

It is normal to feel disconnected and overwhelmed for a while.
We all grieve in our own way and have our own time line.

If someone calls me that has lost a loved one two weeks ago I often support them through my free call but don’t take them on as a client right away. I will contact them after about three months to see how they are doing. Often they have found their own healing path. Said all that there are exemptions to that rule. (smile)

Many of us are capable to heal and cope with a loss by ourselves and/or the help of friends and family.

During our lifetime we have built resilience and coping mechanism that help us get through tough times. Humor, taking long walks, writing, art making might be your personal tools that you can access and help you heal.

What do you think are your tools?

Said all that some of us get caught up in a spiral of despair and longing for the loved one and we can’t seem to find a way out by ourselves. Friends are called back to their own lives or are immersed in their own pain and aren’t able to help anymore. This might be the time to seek help from a counsellor/art therapist.

If you or someone you know is wondering about counselling I offer a free Grief Relief call to help them getting clear on what they need right now to heal their broken heart.

Please direct them to my website were they can sign up for a free workbook and online questionnaire to understand their grief better.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

PS: Take out your phone now and call me if you feel stuck. (smile)
You can reach me at 01-902-237-5011 to make a free call appointment or send me an email at Jacqueline(at)HealingForGrievingHearts.com.

Thinking of all the Mothers

8/5/2016

Today is Mother’s Day.

For the last two years I felt down when all the shop windows would remind me over and over that my mother wasn’t here anymore.

This year it has changed. I feel thankful for all the years we had together, the laughters we shared and the heavier discussions about different opinions. (smile)

I feel happy for my friends that are able to share this Mother’s Day with their mothers or being celebrated as mothers by their own family.

While sending wishes to some friends through Facebook I saw a post by Heather Plett . Heather had shared CBC Radio’s post.

I had a listen and I want to share it with you too.

It is a documentary by Rachel Matlow called ‘Dead Mom Talking’. Don’t get scared by the title. (smile)

Rachel took care of her mother and was able to record her before she died last July. They talked about death, the grief and sadness that follows.

Please have a listen to this loving and deeply touching documentary.

You can find it at CBC radio: http://bit.ly/24F2CUk

Hint: The LISTEN button is under the very first image.

I’m sending you lots of love.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

PS: I offer free Grief Relief sessions by phone. I will help you find a new clarity, a plan for powerful next steps on your healing path, and relieve of unresolved feelings. (value $300)

Take out your phone now and call me. (smile)
You can reach me at 01-902-237-5011 to make a free call appointment or send me an email at Jacqueline(at)HealingForGrievingHearts.com.

Which tasks did you have to take on after your loved one died?

6/4/2016

Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible. - Francis of Assisi / HealingForGrievingHearts.com

When we are in a relationship we help each other out with various tasks. It is just normal to share the daily duties like financial tasks, taxes, driving, grocery shopping etc...

One of my clients told me that her husband was the one that would always drive them to appointments and outings.

When he died two years ago she was somewhat stranded in her house, living in a rural community with almost no public transit.

She was lucky that she had a friend that would go grocery shopping with her or take her to doctors appointments. But she also felt that she could not impose on her friend all the time and so stayed home a lot of times.

She just told me that she bought a second-hand car six months ago and is now mobile again. I’m sure it took lots of courage to buy the car and being in the drivers seat again. Although I had nothing to do with it, I feel so proud of her. (You know who you are and I cheer for you! smile)

There are so many smaller and bigger steps that you have to take when you lose a loved one. Which tasks did you have to take on after your loved one died?

To find a new way to step out into the world takes all your courage and strength.

I bow to you for taking that step every day.

Love and blessings,
Jacqueline

PS: I offer free Grief Relief Sessions. I will help you to find a new clarity on your unique situation, a plan for powerful next steps, and relieve of unresolved feelings. (value $300)

Take out your phone now and call me. (smile)
You can reach me at 01-902-237-5011 to make an appointment or send me an email at Jacqueline(at)HealingForGrievingHearts.com

Did you ever ask for help?

16/3/2016

Do you ask for help when you needed in times of grief? HealingForGrievingHearts.com

What does your reality look like without your loved one?

Yesterday I was listening to TED talks. I find it always inspirational to hear personal stories and how people overcome challenges in their own unique way. We can all learn from each other.

One woman described a dream she had after her husband died.

She was driving in a car, knowing the destination and looking forward to the drive there. It was a sunny day. All of a sudden a big rock fell out of nowhere directly in front of her car destroying the road in front and landing her with the car in a ditch. She was stranded. The car had no fuel and she realized she was sitting on the passenger side.

She said that she knew that the rock was the death of her husband. She wasn’t surprised that she was sitting on the passenger side because he often drove when they where on the road.

This is her dream.

His death destroyed the road they were on. Their future together was gone. She didn't see any other road ahead. Her car was without fuel. She didn't have the energy to move forward. She was not able to take the steering wheel.

I would like to stay with this scenario a bit longer.

What would it take for her to get out of this situation?

Perhaps friends and family members stop and

bring fuel
try to push the car out of the ditch
one might take the steering wheel to get the car moving again
some come by to give her advice on how she could just move over to the drivers side and start the car

Will that help her?

What have you experienced that helped you?

Each and everyone of you is so unique that you have your own answers.

What would you do if that accident would happen in real life?

You would take out your cell phone and ask 911 for help or - call a friend with a tow truck. (smile)

It is OK to ask for help.

Take action today.

I offer free Grief Relief sessions. I will help you find a new clarity on your unique situation, a plan for powerful next steps, and relieve of unresolved feelings. (value is $300)

Take out your phone now and call me. (smile)
You can reach me at 01-902-237-5011 to make an appointment, send me an email, or click on the truck image above which brings you to my contact page.

Blessings,
Jacqueline

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