Blog Posts

Do you tell yourself to be strong for others?

25/2/2018

Take your time to heal and grow. HealingForGrievingHearts.com

Where are you in your grieving process?
Are you able to be patient with yourself?

When grieving the loss of a loved one we often don’t see over the mountain of pain and sorrow.

We want the pain to stop.

Sometimes we convince ourselves that it is better to ignore our pain. We might distract ourselves with work, Netflix, or hours on social media.

If you have to look out for children you might think that it is better to be strong for them.

Unfortunately the reality is that being strong for others will prolong your grief. Hiding it from your children will teach them that grieving about a loved one is wrong. They might start to hide their feelings as well. You don’t want that.

"Grieving is an inherently human and healthy process. However, when we ignore the reality of the grieving experience, we prolong our pain and cause damage to ourselves. "

When we grieve, we have to integrate a new reality into our lives.

It is important that we have compassion for and with ourselves as we heal.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

PS: Do you want to dive into rituals as healing tools? Healing Rituals online course is here.

How to cope with Grief on Valentine's Day?

11/2/2018

Be gentle with yourself. HealingForGrievingHearts.com

Special days in your calendar can trigger your pain of loss and grief.

If you and your loved one celebrated Valentine’s Day then you know what I am talking about. It isn’t easy to see all the decorations in the stores and the flyers advertising wonderful nights out.

It is difficult to ignore the beautiful red hearts everywhere.

What do you do when the feelings of deep sadness overwhelm you?
To whom do you turn for comfort and support?
Who do you ask for help to get through another special day of fond memories and stories?
Who will help you cherish the memories of your loved one?

Yes, it is always a good idea to ask for help from your friends and family. You don’t have to pretend that everything is OK. Reach out to others to get the hug you need or a listening ear to share your stories and memories.

If you feel you don’t want to reach out to others that is OK. Take a pen and paper. Share your feelings by writing them down so that what is going on inside your broken heart becomes visible.

You can ask yourself how your loved one would want to be remembered on that day.

Is there a dish that she or he liked very much?
Did he or she have a favourite flower?

Cook the dish or order it in, buy the flowers and decorate your dining table with them. Celebrate the love you still feel. I am sure you have even better ideas.

Healing the grieving heart starts when you become pro-active. Your soul wants to express itself. Feelings and love want to be seen. Give them a voice.

What is it that you can do on Valentine’s Day that will support your healing process?

Take good care,
Jacqueline

PS: Do you want to dive into rituals as healing tools? Healing Rituals online course is here.

Remembering a friend that died too young

28/1/2018

Enjoy Natures Beauty in any Season. - HealingForGrievingHearts.com

We had this brilliantly sunny day after a snowfall a few days ago. The Air was crisp. The sunshine flooded everything. Little stars seemed to radiate their warmth from frozen leaves on bushes.

The atmosphere reminded me of skiing in the Swiss Alps with my college boyfriend. He was funny, smart, handsome, and the best teacher to improve your skiing skills. (smile)

One winter, we were in the mountains with his friends. He wanted to show off and claimed that his girlfriend had learned so much from him that she could take on the steepest hill on the mountain. Would I not have been in love with him and wanted him to be proud, I would have never agreed to get down that hill. (smile)

He always told me to put my whole weight on my skies to control them best. So that day, I did just that and made it down the hill in one piece. To this day, I tell myself sometimes: Push your whole weight down on the ground for best control."

Over time, our relationship changed, and we split up but stayed good friends. He got killed in a motorcycle accident just before his 25th birthday. Losing my friend was devastating, and my grief was deep and unexpectedly painful.

On this sunny snow day, I remembered him, his jokes, and his advice.
So, I will plant my feet firmly on the ground for the coming weeks.

My love for him and our friendship will always have a special place in my heart.

What does trigger your memories?
Who is on your mind today?

Sharing our stories is a part of the healing process.

Memories assure us our hearts will always keep a loving space for our loved ones who have died too early.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

What is your biggest wish today?

14/1/2018

The future depends on what you do today. Mahatma Gandhi HealingForGrievingHearts.com

I hope your new year has greeted you well. A new year always brings reflection about where we have been and where we want to go.

What is your biggest wish today?

After the loss of a loved one. Your world can feel upside down. You are living a new reality that has been thrown at you and sometimes you wish that....

What is that one wish you have right now? Unfortunately you cannot bring back your old life with your loved one. So what is it?

Don’t dismiss it. (smile) Just think about if for a moment.
Feel into your heart and listen.
Perhaps it is a good idea to close your eyes to hear your inner wish better.

Now, write that wish on a piece of paper or in your journal if you have one.

Is it a wish that you feel is achievable or is it a wish that is so out there that it will take years to fulfill it?

Either way. Take that wish seriously.

Write it down.

Tomorrow look at that wish again and see if your wish has changed over night.

Does it need adjustment? If so write that change next to your wish.

Try to look at your wish every day for the next one to three weeks.
If you would like you can also visualize how your life will look like when your wish becomes reality.

Maybe your wish changes to something new over time. Or it stays the same.

By starting to acknowledge your wishes and your hopes your brain will start to function in a new way. It will start to think towards the fulfillment of that wish and start to plot and create possibilities to make it happen.

When we are grieving it is difficult for us to think of anything else than the pain and sorrow we feel. Sometimes it is good to give our brain something else to think about.

Yes, such a "distraction" can lead to new insights of your life and reality.

It is possible that your thoughts will go in the opposite direction and will tell you that you will never be able to achieve that wish. If that happens, send me an email. I am here to help you. I answer every email personally.

You might find the above recommendation a bit too simple. I understand, but still….(smile)

Just try it out for one week. Give it just seven days of attention and see if you feel a change in your attitude and well-being after that week.

If you like to share your experience; I am here for you.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

PS: The Healing Rituals course will launch on January 19, 2018.

Allow yourself to heal. What does that mean when grieving?

20/12/2017

Allow yourself to heal. -HealingForGrievingHearts.com

Allow yourself to heal

What do I mean by that?

When we are hurting lots of us have the tendency to hide inside ourselves.
We want to deal with all our feelings by ourselves. Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn’t.

When you are grieving the loss of a loved one you might want to rethink how to cope with your feelings and pain.

Allowing yourself to heal means to create space that will help you heal.

That space can be nature.
It can be a corner in your home where you light a candle for your loved one.
It can be a get together with a good friend that doesn’t judge you for what you are feeling.
It can be a celebration of your loved one's life where memories are shared.

Allowing yourself to heal means to become active in your healing process.

It means to step out or your own inside turmoil and transform it into a visible dialogue. This can be painting, journaling, rituals, and memory sharing.

The coming holidays might be a first step to try new possibilities. The most important part is to be gentle with yourself. I wrote a post last year about how to prepare for the holidays. You can find it here.

I am wishing you that you will find the space that helps you heal and that you will be surrounded by supportive family members and/or friends.

I am keeping you in my heart,
Jacqueline

The Healing Rituals course will launch on January 19, 2018.

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Do you tell yourself to be strong for others?

How to cope with Grief on Valentine's Day?

Remembering a friend that died too young

What is your biggest wish today?

Allow yourself to heal. What does that mean when grieving?

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