Where do you store your feelings of loss and grief?
When I lost my mother, I was not prepared for the sadness that accompanied the days, weeks, and months after my mother’s death. It felt like carrying the sadness of every loss I had ever encountered in my heart.
There was nothing holding back the tears. The lid was open and I knew I had to work through my feelings and acknowledge them to be able to heal.
I had to be open to heal into a new me without my mother’s presence but her love still deeply embedded in my heart.
What do I mean when I say the lid was open?Think of our emotional centre as a pot and our feelings being kept in there by a lid on top of it.
As infants, our feelings move freely in and out. We cry when we are hungry. We laugh out loud when we are happy.
We react spontaneously to our feelings and no-one cares that we do so until we get older.
Then we learn to behave.
Somewhere on the way we also learn that a loss of any kind should be kept to ourselves. That it is a private affair.
Perhaps a grandparent dies and our parents don’t cry in front of us. So we don’t know if they are hurting or not.
Or we hear them cry behind closed doors. The message we get is: .....
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