At a networking event last week a woman told me that she had looked after her mother for the last couple of years.
Her mother had Alzheimer's. She had to say good-bye to the mother that had raised her, to the friend that had been there for her when no-one else was, to the laughter and hardships of life they had shared. The strong woman she had known disappeared before her eyes.
Going through that process she grieved all these parts of their life together. She said good-bye to her mother in many ways over the years.
A few months back her mother died. Her friends tell her that she is now finally able to grief the loss of her mother.
She told me that it was not grief that she was feeling. “I’m in a state of healing after all the years of saying good-bye. Finally I’m able to heal.”
In that instance, I could feel the love she shared with her mother and the joy of her soul that she spoke her truth.
Wherever you are on your healing path take one step at the time to move forward. You are healing.
What is it you need to move from overwhelming grief to a calmer state of healing?
If you feel OK to share your experience please do so in the comments. You might just help someone else.
Take good care,
PS: If the tears don't stop and you need a compassionate and listening person outside your usual circle of friends and family I'm here.
What does your reality look like without your loved one?
Yesterday I was listening to TED talks. I find it always inspirational to hear personal stories and how people overcome challenges in their own unique way. We can all learn from each other.
One woman described a dream she had after her husband died.
She was driving in a car, knowing the destination and looking forward to the drive there. It was a sunny day. All of a sudden a big rock fell out of nowhere directly in front of her car destroying the road in front and landing her with the car in a ditch. She was stranded. The car had no fuel and she realized she was sitting on the passenger side.
She said that she knew that the rock was the death of her husband. She wasn’t surprised that she was sitting on the passenger side because he often drove when they where on the road.
This is her dream.
His death destroyed the road they were on. Their future together was gone. She didn't see any other road ahead. Her car was without fuel. She didn't have the energy to move forward. She was not able to take the steering wheel.
I would like to stay with this scenario a bit longer.
What would it take for her to get out of this situation?
Perhaps friends and family members stop and
Will that help her?
What have you experienced that helped you?
Each and everyone of you is so unique that you have your own answers.
What would you do if that accident would happen in real life?
You would take out your cell phone and ask 911 for help or - call a friend with a tow truck. (smile)
It is OK to ask for help.
Take action today.
Jacqueline Steudler is an Art Therapist and Grief Recovery Specialist®.