Category: Anniversary

Can you transform your grief?

4/4/2017

Transformation Happens - Listen Quietly HealingForGrievingHearts.com

Before losing my mother, I had lost people that were close. I did understand that without them there would always be a scar on my heart. Life without them wasn’t the same anymore.

Despite all that knowledge and my training as an art therapist I thought that one day that scar wouldn’t hurt anymore. After dealing with the shock and the pain I would just move on with my life thinking of them in a loving way but without pain. Transforming all my grief.

Two weeks ago, my mother would have celebrated her 87th Birthday if she would still be with us. When the day came I couldn’t believe that despite her being dead for almost four years it was again a tough day.

I realized once more that grief is an ongoing process that will last a lifetime. Yes, it does quietly change and transform into something new but still....

These special dates can bring to the surface a mix of love and grief.

We might experience it as feelings of being ‘off’ and we are not quite sure why. Then we remember the closing in of a date or an anniversary and we feel the pain.

It is like our body has stored the memory in our cells and when the day comes closer these cells take over.

What helps me a great deal on those days are rituals and the permission that I give myself to have a good cry.

Whether you are grieving a recent loss or one from long ago, my heart goes out to you.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

How to prepare for the Holidays when you are grieving

1/12/2016

Listen to your grieving Heart - HealingForGrievingHearts.com

Are you prepared for the cheer, the family images of happy people, the songs that might remind you of better days?

If you have lost someone this year it might be the first Holiday Season without them.

You might experience a flood of feelings or go numb and feel nothing at all.

It can help if you start to prepare yourself for the coming days counting down to Christmas.

1. Think about what you can and cannot do this year

A well meant invitation to a concert or a tree lighting might be too much for you. Even if your friends and family try to cheer you up with the things that you always loved during this time you might feel overwhelmed and fearful to fall apart in public. Take good care of yourself and gently decline invitations that are too stressful.

2. Be honest

Who do you want to have around for Christmas? Talk to your friends and family members how you want to celebrate. Who else in your circle is grieving? Could you help each other? Be open to new ideas.

3. Accept help from others

It is difficult to ask for help from others. Sometimes it is even harder to accept help, especially if you have been in charge of the holidays in other years.

4. Prepare a ritual to honour your loved one

Buy their favourite flowers. Cook that special dessert. Go for a walk in nature and light a candle at a cherished place. Share stories and memories of your loved one.

5. Which traditions do you want to keep?

Your friends and family might try to change things up in an effort to help you. Be clear and honest about your feelings and what you want to happen.

Whatever you decide to do or not to do it is your truth. There is no right or wrong way.

Take good care and don’t hesitate to reach out if you feel the need to talk. I am here for you.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

Are Rituals a Part of your Grieving Process?

6/9/2016

The gentle Healing for Grieving Hearts program will help you to navigate through your unique grieving process.

This summer (and it is still continuing) was beautifully warm, sunny, and humid. We had many guests that stayed with us to enjoy Nova Scotia.
This is the reason why I wasn’t updating my blog. I hope you understand. (smile)

A good friend of mine from Switzerland visited in August and I experienced my surroundings through her eyes. The awe that she had for natures beauty just resonated lovingly with my soul. I am so lucky to live here.

The first week of August also marks the anniversary of my mother’s death. It was special to have my friend with me going through my annual ritual of visiting a site at the Ocean that my mother had loved so much when she visited.

My plan was to reconnect with my mother by embracing the stillness and the view over the Ocean like I did in the last two years.

It was an absolute different experience this time.

My friend is very intuitive and can hold space for others wonderfully. That day however, she was very bubbly (smile) and I wasn’t able to feel the calm that I had felt in other years.

Soon I gave up on my expectations. We both talked about our memories of my mother and had some great laughs. It was a great day but in the end I was still missing that calm connected feeling from years past. A part of my ritual with my mother is that I tell her in letter form what has happened over the last couple of months. It always gives me new insights and clarity. I was missing that.

What it taught me again was, that we have to be careful how we plan our rituals.

I know now that I need this time to myself and will plan better next year. (smile)

Do you have any rituals to reconnect with your loved ones that have died?
If so, do you prefer to be alone or with a friend?
Please let me know. I always like to hear what works for others.

Let me know if I can help you in any way to become more clear or find gentle healing strategies to help you navigate your grieving process.

I am here for you.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

Thinking of all the Mothers

8/5/2016

Today is Mother’s Day.

For the last two years I felt down when all the shop windows would remind me over and over that my mother wasn’t here anymore.

This year it has changed. I feel thankful for all the years we had together, the laughters we shared and the heavier discussions about different opinions. (smile)

I feel happy for my friends that are able to share this Mother’s Day with their mothers or being celebrated as mothers by their own family.

While sending wishes to some friends through Facebook I saw a post by Heather Plett . Heather had shared CBC Radio’s post.

I had a listen and I want to share it with you too.

It is a documentary by Rachel Matlow called ‘Dead Mom Talking’. Don’t get scared by the title. (smile)

Rachel took care of her mother and was able to record her before she died last July. They talked about death, the grief and sadness that follows.

Please have a listen to this loving and deeply touching documentary.

You can find it at CBC radio: http://bit.ly/24F2CUk

Hint: The LISTEN button is under the very first image.

I’m sending you lots of love.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

Celebrating my Mother

23/3/2016

Find a ritual to celebrate your loved one. - HealingForGrievingHearts.com

Today I celebrate my mothers Birthday with yellow roses and chocolate cake.

She would love it. (smile)

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Can you transform your grief?

How to prepare for the Holidays when you are grieving

Are Rituals a Part of your Grieving Process?

Thinking of all the Mothers

Celebrating my Mother

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