Category: Anniversary

How to cope with Grief on Valentine's Day?

11/2/2018

Be gentle with yourself. HealingForGrievingHearts.com

Special days in your calendar can trigger your pain of loss and grief.

If you and your loved one celebrated Valentine’s Day then you know what I am talking about. It isn’t easy to see all the decorations in the stores and the flyers advertising wonderful nights out.

It is difficult to ignore the beautiful red hearts everywhere.

What do you do when the feelings of deep sadness overwhelm you?
To whom do you turn for comfort and support?
Who do you ask for help to get through another special day of fond memories and stories?
Who will help you cherish the memories of your loved one?

Yes, it is always a good idea to ask for help from your friends and family. You don’t have to pretend that everything is OK. Reach out to others to get the hug you need or a listening ear to share your stories and memories.

If you feel you don’t want to reach out to others that is OK. Take a pen and paper. Share your feelings by writing them down so that what is going on inside your broken heart becomes visible.

You can ask yourself how your loved one would want to be remembered on that day.

Is there a dish that she or he liked very much?
Did he or she have a favourite flower?

Cook the dish or order it in, buy the flowers and decorate your dining table with them. Celebrate the love you still feel. I am sure you have even better ideas.

Healing the grieving heart starts when you become pro-active. Your soul wants to express itself. Feelings and love want to be seen. Give them a voice.

What is it that you can do on Valentine’s Day that will support your healing process?

Take good care,
Jacqueline

PS: Do you want to dive into rituals as healing tools? Healing Rituals online course is here.

“What is it about summer that I am missing my husband even more?”

20/8/2017

Self-care is how you take your power back. Lalah Delia - HealingforGrievingHearts.com

“What is it about summer that I am missing my husband even more?”

This is a question a friend asked me the other day.
Her question didn’t surprise me.

In summer, everyone seems to be out and about and having a great time with family and friends. No one seems to worry about things. Everyone is in a good mood and happy.

If you mourn the loss of a loved one the activity around you can make you even more sad. It shows you what has been. It shows you what could have been.

It is sometimes difficult not to get overwhelmed by pain when so much is happening around you. You might even feel pressure that you should be the same happy summer person you were before.

What to do, you ask?

Create a day where you look back at all the memories of fun times with your loved one.
Where they always during the summer?
What were the places you went together?
What were the activities?

Talk to your friends about it. Is there an activity that you miss and would like to take on again with one of your friends? Let them know you need their support.

You could also create a mini retreat in your home to get away from the summer crowd. Read a book, watch your favourite movies, cry, sing in the shower, and cook your favourite food. Care for yourself.

Let me know what you think and what helps you. I love to learn from you.

Take good (self-) care,
Jacqueline

PS: Give me a call. I am here for you. ☎️
This free offer is open to former Healing for Grieving Hearts clients too.

Do you communicate with your loved one?

6/8/2017

Continue Your Conversation - HealingForGrievingHearts.com

August 5th is the anniversary of my mother’s death. Every year I drive out to the coast of Peggy’s Cove. A place she enjoyed very much when she visited. Near by is a memorial that offers a beautiful look over the ocean. It has a serene feel to it and is dedicated to a Swissair flight and its passengers that lost their lives near by in the Atlantic, 19 years ago.

Just off the memorial is a path that leads towards the ocean. I always take it to get away from the hustle and bustle at the memorial during the tourist season. The smooth rounded rocks invite to sit and journal. (smile)

While sitting above the ocean I have a conversation with my mother which I write down as a letter. It helps me to reflect and share with her like we used to do. It always brings a feeling of calmness and strength.

So yesterday, sitting just a few meters beside the path leading down to the ocean I realized that more and more people took the path down to get closer to the Ocean.

Black rocks just off the surf show that the waves swap over on a regular basis. Locals know better than to get on these rocks because there can be rogue waves. These waves form underneath the surface and have surprised people standing on the rocks. They are forceful and have taken lives in the past.

While I was sitting there I heard my mother’s voice inside. “Tell them!”

I knew immediately what she meant. For the rest of the time I was there I stopped people on their way down with the words: “Excuse me, are you local?” If yes, I said: “Then you know about the black rocks and the rogue waves?” If not, I explained the danger on the black rocks.

It was interesting to see the reactions. Some were dismissive, some were grateful, and some got into a nice conversation.

The interactions were a great addition to my time there.

In the evening I contemplated on the day. I remembered how my mother drove me nuts sometimes. Stopping strangers in a Mall or on the street, starting a conversation about this or that. (smile) For my, at the time, child ears insignificant conversations but important to her.

Do you communicate with your loved one too?
What are your experiences?
I would love to hear your stories.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

PS: Give me a call. I am here for you. ☎️
This free offer is open to former Healing for Grieving Hearts clients too.

Can you transform your grief?

4/4/2017

Transformation Happens - Listen Quietly HealingForGrievingHearts.com

Before losing my mother, I had lost people that were close. I did understand that without them there would always be a scar on my heart. Life without them wasn’t the same anymore.

Despite all that knowledge and my training as an art therapist I thought that one day that scar wouldn’t hurt anymore. After dealing with the shock and the pain I would just move on with my life thinking of them in a loving way but without pain. Transforming all my grief.

Two weeks ago, my mother would have celebrated her 87th Birthday if she would still be with us. When the day came I couldn’t believe that despite her being dead for almost four years it was again a tough day.

I realized once more that grief is an ongoing process that will last a lifetime. Yes, it does quietly change and transform into something new but still....

These special dates can bring to the surface a mix of love and grief.

We might experience it as feelings of being ‘off’ and we are not quite sure why. Then we remember the closing in of a date or an anniversary and we feel the pain.

It is like our body has stored the memory in our cells and when the day comes closer these cells take over.

What helps me a great deal on those days are rituals and the permission that I give myself to have a good cry.

Whether you are grieving a recent loss or one from long ago, my heart goes out to you.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

PS: If you like to talk to someone outside your inner circle about the grief you experience click reply now or click on the phone and make an appointment for a free call. ☎️
This free offer is open to former Healing for Grieving Hearts clients too.

How to prepare for the Holidays when you are grieving

1/12/2016

Listen to your grieving Heart - HealingForGrievingHearts.com

Are you prepared for the cheer, the family images of happy people, the songs that might remind you of better days?

If you have lost someone this year it might be the first Holiday Season without them.

You might experience a flood of feelings or go numb and feel nothing at all.

It can help if you start to prepare yourself for the coming days counting down to Christmas.

1. Think about what you can and cannot do this year

A well meant invitation to a concert or a tree lighting might be too much for you. Even if your friends and family try to cheer you up with the things that you always loved during this time you might feel overwhelmed and fearful to fall apart in public. Take good care of yourself and gently decline invitations that are too stressful.

2. Be honest

Who do you want to have around for Christmas? Talk to your friends and family members how you want to celebrate. Who else in your circle is grieving? Could you help each other? Be open to new ideas.

3. Accept help from others

It is difficult to ask for help from others. Sometimes it is even harder to accept help, especially if you have been in charge of the holidays in other years.

4. Prepare a ritual to honour your loved one

Buy their favourite flowers. Cook that special dessert. Go for a walk in nature and light a candle at a cherished place. Share stories and memories of your loved one.

5. Which traditions do you want to keep?

Your friends and family might try to change things up in an effort to help you. Be clear and honest about your feelings and what you want to happen.

Whatever you decide to do or not to do it is your truth. There is no right or wrong way.

Take good care and don’t hesitate to reach out if you feel the need to talk. I am here for you.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

For your interest:
The Healing Rituals course will launch on January 19, 2018.
Interested to get early access? Sign up here.
(You don't buy anything at this point.)

Are Rituals a Part of your Grieving Process?

6/9/2016

The gentle Healing for Grieving Hearts program will help you to navigate through your unique grieving process.

This summer (and it is still continuing) was beautifully warm, sunny, and humid. We had many guests that stayed with us to enjoy Nova Scotia.
This is the reason why I wasn’t updating my blog. I hope you understand. (smile)

A good friend of mine from Switzerland visited in August and I experienced my surroundings through her eyes. The awe that she had for natures beauty just resonated lovingly with my soul. I am so lucky to live here.

The first week of August also marks the anniversary of my mother’s death. It was special to have my friend with me going through my annual ritual of visiting a site at the Ocean that my mother had loved so much when she visited.

My plan was to reconnect with my mother by embracing the stillness and the view over the Ocean like I did in the last two years.

It was an absolute different experience this time.

My friend is very intuitive and can hold space for others wonderfully. That day however, she was very bubbly (smile) and I wasn’t able to feel the calm that I had felt in other years.

Soon I gave up on my expectations. We both talked about our memories of my mother and had some great laughs. It was a great day but in the end I was still missing that calm connected feeling from years past. A part of my ritual with my mother is that I tell her in letter form what has happened over the last couple of months. It always gives me new insights and clarity. I was missing that.

What it taught me again was, that we have to be careful how we plan our rituals.

I know now that I need this time to myself and will plan better next year. (smile)

Do you have any rituals to reconnect with your loved ones that have died?
If so, do you prefer to be alone or with a friend?
Please let me know. I always like to hear what works for others.

Let me know if I can help you in any way to become more clear or find gentle healing strategies to help you through your grieving process. You can access a free phone call (or by Skype) by responding at http://www.healingforgrievinghearts.com/contact.html

I am here for you.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

Thinking of all the Mothers

8/5/2016

Today is Mother’s Day.

For the last two years I felt down when all the shop windows would remind me over and over that my mother wasn’t here anymore.

This year it has changed. I feel thankful for all the years we had together, the laughters we shared and the heavier discussions about different opinions. (smile)

I feel happy for my friends that are able to share this Mother’s Day with their mothers or being celebrated as mothers by their own family.

While sending wishes to some friends through Facebook I saw a post by Heather Plett . Heather had shared CBC Radio’s post.

I had a listen and I want to share it with you too.

It is a documentary by Rachel Matlow called ‘Dead Mom Talking’. Don’t get scared by the title. (smile)

Rachel took care of her mother and was able to record her before she died last July. They talked about death, the grief and sadness that follows.

Please have a listen to this loving and deeply touching documentary.

You can find it at CBC radio: http://bit.ly/24F2CUk

Hint: The LISTEN button is under the very first image.

I’m sending you lots of love.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

PS: I offer free Grief Relief sessions by phone. I will help you find a new clarity, a plan for powerful next steps on your healing path, and relieve of unresolved feelings. (value $300)

Take out your phone now and call me. (smile)
You can reach me at 01-902-237-5011 to make a free call appointment or send me an email at Jacqueline(at)HealingForGrievingHearts.com.

Celebrating my Mother

23/3/2016

Find a ritual to celebrate your loved one. - HealingForGrievingHearts.com

Today I celebrate my mothers Birthday with yellow roses and chocolate cake.

She would love it. (smile)

Happy Holidays

22/12/2015

Love and Healing for a blessed Holiday Season from HealingForGrievingHearts.com

May the coming days be filled with light and healing.

Your loved ones are with you in your heart and your memories.
Celebrate them, talk about them, and if you feel like it prepare a little gift for them. (smile)

I always buy my mother's favourite flowers and in my mind's eye I see her smile.

I wish you a blessed Holiday Season with supportive friends and family that are there for you when you need them.

From my heart to yours,
Jacqueline

Sign up here http://eepurl.com/4S8G1

How do you Celebrate Anniversaries?

5/8/2015

Healing for Grieving Hearts supporting your unique grieving process.

Two years ago today my mother died.

Although I worked creatively through my own grieving process and have found a beautiful way of honouring her by helping others, I still feel the sadness when this day comes closer. Plus there is still a little bit of guilt that I wasn’t there in person when she died and I want to give space and healing to these feelings again in the next couple of days.

While you are reading this I will be at the coast of Nova Scotia near Peggy’s Cove. I will be sitting on the rocks, writing a letter to my mother, and remember all the laughs and tears we shared together.

I remember our wonderful travels through Greece, Spain, Germany, and Nova Scotia. Her adventurous spirit when she went onto a wale watching boat with me knowing well that she might get seasick in the middle of it. We had a blast. (smile)

Do you have an upcoming anniversary?
What will you do? Will you be alone or will you share it with friends and family?

It is helpful to have a plan, a ritual for those special days like birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries.

Do you need help to find the right ritual to honour your relationship?

Please take advantage of my free call if you like some input or send me an email and I will be glad to help you.

Blessing to you and yours,
Jacqueline