Category: Ritual

How to cope with Grief on Valentine's Day?

11/2/2018

Be gentle with yourself. HealingForGrievingHearts.com

Special days in your calendar can trigger your pain of loss and grief.

If you and your loved one celebrated Valentine’s Day then you know what I am talking about. It isn’t easy to see all the decorations in the stores and the flyers advertising wonderful nights out.

It is difficult to ignore the beautiful red hearts everywhere.

What do you do when the feelings of deep sadness overwhelm you?
To whom do you turn for comfort and support?
Who do you ask for help to get through another special day of fond memories and stories?
Who will help you cherish the memories of your loved one?

Yes, it is always a good idea to ask for help from your friends and family. You don’t have to pretend that everything is OK. Reach out to others to get the hug you need or a listening ear to share your stories and memories.

If you feel you don’t want to reach out to others that is OK. Take a pen and paper. Share your feelings by writing them down so that what is going on inside your broken heart becomes visible.

You can ask yourself how your loved one would want to be remembered on that day.

Is there a dish that she or he liked very much?
Did he or she have a favourite flower?

Cook the dish or order it in, buy the flowers and decorate your dining table with them. Celebrate the love you still feel. I am sure you have even better ideas.

Healing the grieving heart starts when you become pro-active. Your soul wants to express itself. Feelings and love want to be seen. Give them a voice.

What is it that you can do on Valentine’s Day that will support your healing process?

Take good care,
Jacqueline

PS: Do you want to dive into rituals as healing tools? Healing Rituals online course is here.

Announcing the Launch of Healing Rituals online course

19/11/2017

Rituals help you to connect to your heart and ease your pain.

Today, I am happy to announce the launch date of the Healing Rituals online course.

Learn to create rituals that help you cope with your unique grief
and the overwhelming feelings of pain.

The Healing Rituals course will launch on January 19, 2018.

Creating your own personal rituals to remember your loved one allows you to access and work through your grief in a safe and constructive way.

While working with several clients, I realized that I suggest rituals often and how they can help with the chaotic and overwhelming feelings of grief. I am in the process of finalizing an online course that will give you creative ideas how to create rituals that resonate with your heart, honour your loved one, and at the same time support your healing process.

Interested to get early access? Sign up here.
(You don't buy anything at this point.)

Let me know if I can be of help in any way.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

Rituals for your grieving heart

1/10/2017

Rituals comfort your grieving heart - HealingForGrievingHearts.com

Next weekend, we will celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada. It is a time of harvest, gratitude, and a time of family gatherings. 

Stepping into the upcoming Holidays is not easy when you have lost a loved one. A place at the table will be empty. It will be difficult at moments. Fill this seat with memories, stories of their life, or a gentle minute of reflection. Laughing and crying with others will help your broken heart.

I have talked many times about rituals. The coming Holidays might be easier on you, your family, and friends if you plan something special for these days.

Rituals help to connect and heal. 

The following I suggested last year here it is once more:  

Go for a walk together and take some colourful ribbons with you. Chose a tree and hang the ribbons on it. 

One ribbon for your love to the person that died. 
One ribbon including a wish for yourself or your family/friends. 
A third one filled with gratitude for this day together or...

Hang as many ribbons as you wish. Share your thoughts out loud or just hang your ribbons in silence on the tree.

 This is also a ritual that you can do by yourself if you feel more comfortable this way.   

Another ritual is to ask everyone to bring some candles to the festive table.

Have a big bowl filled with sand in the middle of the table.

Each guest lights a candle and shares a short memory or story of your loved one while adding the candle to the bowl. Don’t force anyone. Some might just want to light the candle in silence.
 
Tell your friends and family how you want to spend the Holidays. Be open to change your mind at the last minute.

  I am wishing you a gentle step into this new season.

Take good care, 
Jacqueline

PS: Ribbon ritual: If you don’t have any ribbons at home you might be able to find some at a local thrift store. Make sure you use fabric ribbons and not plastic ones. Nature will thank you. (smile) 

PSS: Give me a call. I am here for you. ☎️

Are you wondering how you can cherish your memories and honour your loved one?

2/7/2017

Share your Memories - HealingForGrievingHearts.com

Are you wondering how you can cherish your memories and honour your loved one?

A friend of mine shared the following story last week on Facebook.

When my father passed away quite a few years ago my mother asked us if we would like to have something of his to remember him by.

I chose his dress shoes as they remind me of when he would take each of my siblings and I out to dinner separately. Wonderful conversation while dining and having him all to myself for an evening.

I keep the shoes on a beam above my head in the studio where I paint . I have only taken them down once when our son Jack needed to wear them for a play he was in ( he has since out grown them).

I took them down again last weekend and polished them up for our daughters prom date to wear. Not only did my dad get to be at his granddaughters prom but he got to dance with her as well. ❤️

Just in case you wondered. I asked her if it would be OK to share her story with you.

This was her answer: My father was a lovely man who loved and supported his four daughters in every way. I am and know he would be honoured if you shared this story.

If you have a similar story that you would like to share get in touch.

Shame, Loyalty, Rituals and more...

14/3/2017

Asking for help and surrounding yourself with supporters is sometimes necessary to reach a new peak. HealingForGrievingHearts.com

Today I was looking through my blog posts. I realized that there are some great ones. (smile)

You might have missed them.

I leave it up to you to dabble in them or just ignore these pointers.

How Shame can stop you on your Healing path.
Grieving brings up many overwhelming feelings. Shame can be one of them. I share thoughts inspired by Elizabeth Gilbert.

Does the Feeling of Loyalty keep you from Healing?
This post is about loyalty and what it can mean to your healing process.

Do I need art therapy/counselling?
Most of us don’t need outside help from an art therapist to get through the grieving process. So when should you look into it?

What is your life’s calling?
I am giving a short overview how it came about that I chose my profession/calling as an art therapist.

Special Days in your life: My mother’s birthday.
It is just that a look at my mother’s birthday and the rituals that I created to honour her and heal my broken heart. I would like to inspire you to create your own rituals.

Wisdom Grows in Quiet Places
This is a post about stillness.

I hope you will find something in this list that will make you feel less overwhelmed and more connected to your own unique healing path.

Like always you can get in touch if you want to speak or have questions. I am happy to answer your call or email.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

PS: If you like to talk to someone outside your inner circle about the grief you experience click on the phone and make an appointment for a free call. ☎️
This free offer is open to former Healing for Grieving Hearts clients too.

Thanksgiving Ritual for your Grieving Heart

27/9/2016

Healing For Grieving Hearts - Rituals help to connect and heal.

Summer has moved on and Fall has started in earnest today or at least it was cold enough to remind me of what will come.

In two weeks we are celebrating Thanksgiving in Canada. It is a time of harvest, gratitude, and a time of family gatherings.

Stepping into the upcoming Holidays is not easy when you have lost a loved one. Their place at the table will be filled with memories, stories of their life, or a gentle minute of reflection.

I have talked many times about rituals. The coming Holidays might be easier on you, your family, and friends if you plan something special for these days. Rituals help to connect and heal.

Perhaps you all go for a walk together and take some colorful ribbons with you. Chose a tree and hang the ribbons on it.

One ribbon for your love to the person that died.
One ribbon including a wish for yourself or your family/friends.
A third one filled with gratitude for this day together or...

Hang as many ribbons as you wish. You could share your thoughts out loud or just hang your ribbons in silence on the tree.

This is also a ritual that you can do by yourself if you feel more comfortable this way.

I have done it by myself and with my family and both moments have their own unique calming feel to it, even when the tears are streaming.

Important is that you tell your friends and family how you want to spend the Holidays and be open to change your mind at the last second. (smile)

I am wishing you a gentle step into this new season.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

PS: If you don’t have any ribbons at home you might be able to find some at a local thrift store. Make sure you use fabric ribbons and not plastic ones. Nature will thank you. (smile)
PSS: If there are children involved you could add glass beads to the ribbons to add more colour.

Are Rituals a Part of your Grieving Process?

6/9/2016

The gentle Healing for Grieving Hearts program will help you to navigate through your unique grieving process.

This summer (and it is still continuing) was beautifully warm, sunny, and humid. We had many guests that stayed with us to enjoy Nova Scotia.
This is the reason why I wasn’t updating my blog. I hope you understand. (smile)

A good friend of mine from Switzerland visited in August and I experienced my surroundings through her eyes. The awe that she had for natures beauty just resonated lovingly with my soul. I am so lucky to live here.

The first week of August also marks the anniversary of my mother’s death. It was special to have my friend with me going through my annual ritual of visiting a site at the Ocean that my mother had loved so much when she visited.

My plan was to reconnect with my mother by embracing the stillness and the view over the Ocean like I did in the last two years.

It was an absolute different experience this time.

My friend is very intuitive and can hold space for others wonderfully. That day however, she was very bubbly (smile) and I wasn’t able to feel the calm that I had felt in other years.

Soon I gave up on my expectations. We both talked about our memories of my mother and had some great laughs. It was a great day but in the end I was still missing that calm connected feeling from years past. A part of my ritual with my mother is that I tell her in letter form what has happened over the last couple of months. It always gives me new insights and clarity. I was missing that.

What it taught me again was, that we have to be careful how we plan our rituals.

I know now that I need this time to myself and will plan better next year. (smile)

Do you have any rituals to reconnect with your loved ones that have died?
If so, do you prefer to be alone or with a friend?
Please let me know. I always like to hear what works for others.

Let me know if I can help you in any way to become more clear or find gentle healing strategies to help you through your grieving process. You can access a free phone call (or by Skype) by responding at http://www.healingforgrievinghearts.com/contact.html

I am here for you.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

Celebrating my Mother

23/3/2016

Find a ritual to celebrate your loved one. - HealingForGrievingHearts.com

Today I celebrate my mothers Birthday with yellow roses and chocolate cake.

She would love it. (smile)

Nature is ready for new growth

13/1/2015

Nature is a wonderful teacher when we want to step out of our grief.

The world has turned white overnight and it is a sunny but very cold day here in Nova Scotia.

I love winter, when it is really cold and the snow squeaks under my boots when I go for a walk.

While wandering around in the new snowy landscape this morning bundled up to my nose I realized once more how much nature has already prepared for a new growing season.

I found many buds on our Rhododendrons and trees hidden under the snow and ice seemingly oblivious to the cold temperatures of up to -30 degrees Celsius (around -22 Fahrenheit).

Nature reflects back to us what could be waiting inside our soul. We might experience a winter inside when we feel cold and disconnected to the world because a loss is overshadowing everything else.

But like in nature there might already be some buds waiting for the season to change, for the soul to heal, for the support to arrive. Those buds of warmth, memories without pain, love, and moments of new adventures might just be waiting for you to be discovered.

I hope you will find time today and in the coming weeks to keep an eye out for those buds of growths and healing inside and out.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

Rituals help Heal

26/10/2014

The end of October and the start of November bring Halloween, All Saints, All Soul’s Day, Samhain, Day of the Dead. This darker time is celebrated in many cultures in their own unique way but all of them remind us of our loved ones that have died.

A few years back I was introduced to the tradition of the Mexican ‘Day of the Dead’ and was first shocked to see all those skeletons and the sugar skulls but fascinated by the artistry of the paper cuttings and the love that goes into those crafted altars to celebrate family members and friends that have died.

It inspired me to make my own little altar every year for the people I am missing in my life. I put pictures of them on my altar and little nicknack that remind me of their special personalities. Like a plush whale that my mother bought when we went whale watching, a CD with songs by my nephew, a pair of old glasses that belonged to my grandfather, stones, shells and glass beads that remind me of special times together. There are always flowers and candles.

This week, I will create my altar on Halloween and leave it up for a few days. The candles will be lit from October 31 through November 2. I find that cleaning the altar is as important as setting it up. I take special care to put all the little pieces back in their usual place.

Every time I create the altar I feel the warmth and love of my loved ones around me and comforted by the notion of celebrating their lives.

Rituals are important. They help us heal and stay in the present moment. They give our feelings a voice and by creating it we give our soul permission to deeply connect with what we have lost.

Healing is not about forgetting. Healing is acknowledging what we had and taking stock of dreams, hopes and wishes we have lost. Through creating we heal and are able to find new purpose.

What are your rituals that help you heal?
Share your rituals here or at www.facebook.com/healingforgrievinghearts

Take good care,
Jacqueline