Category: Lost Dreams

“What is it about summer that I am missing my husband even more?”

20/8/2017

Self-care is how you take your power back. Lalah Delia - HealingforGrievingHearts.com

“What is it about summer that I am missing my husband even more?”

This is a question a friend asked me the other day.
Her question didn’t surprise me.

In summer, everyone seems to be out and about and having a great time with family and friends. No one seems to worry about things. Everyone is in a good mood and happy.

If you mourn the loss of a loved one the activity around you can make you even more sad. It shows you what has been. It shows you what could have been.

It is sometimes difficult not to get overwhelmed by pain when so much is happening around you. You might even feel pressure that you should be the same happy summer person you were before.

What to do, you ask?

Create a day where you look back at all the memories of fun times with your loved one.
Where they always during the summer?
What were the places you went together?
What were the activities?

Talk to your friends about it. Is there an activity that you miss and would like to take on again with one of your friends? Let them know you need their support.

You could also create a mini retreat in your home to get away from the summer crowd. Read a book, watch your favourite movies, cry, sing in the shower, and cook your favourite food. Care for yourself.

Let me know what you think and what helps you. I love to learn from you.

Take good (self-) care,
Jacqueline

PS: Give me a call. I am here for you. ☎️
This free offer is open to former Healing for Grieving Hearts clients too.

Finding your next step in life after loss

16/7/2017

Give yourself the support system you need. It might include asking for help. -HealingForGrievingHearts.com

It isn’t easy to find the next step in life when you experience overwhelming grief. The sadness and despair over the death of your loved one might sometimes feel unbearable. Hang in there.

Scenario 1
Your loved one was a part of your next steps. You had dreams and plans for the future together. There was a gentle understanding between the two of you what would come next. Now that she/he is gone you have no future steps to take.

Scenario 2
Your loved one was not in agreement with your vision of the future. Still you tried to move both of you to that dream of yours. You negotiated and fought for it. Now that he/she is gone you have no further steps to take.

Both scenarios leave you behind with unfulfilled wishes and dreams. Dreams and wishes that were directly linked to your loved one. No matter if it was a struggle or not. You might also feel regret that you didn’t move faster. That you waited too long because you didn’t know that your time together would be cut short.

Now what?

The next step is something that only you can take. It will be a step of mourning these wishes and dreams as well as the loss of your loved one.

Yes, it is a whole life that you had envisioned that has gone as well with the death of your loved one.

You are still here. Your love for him/her is still within you. Your dreams are still lingering and it hurts like hell that you can’t change the past.

The next step is to find a support system that will help you mourn the loved one you have lost. Help you grieve the dreams and wishes that might not possible anymore without him/her.

The next step for you can be rituals that help you in your unique grieving process. I already wrote about the possibilities of rituals. You can find all these posts here.

Take good care and don't hesitate to reach out,
Jacqueline

PS: If you like to talk to someone outside your inner circle about the grief you experience click here or click on the phone and make an appointment for a free call. ☎️

What does it mean to grieve? What can you do to get over it?

7/6/2016

If you have read my emails for the last couple of months you know what my answer is. (smile)

Grief is unique and everyone grieves in their own way. There are no stages that you can follow and then you are done and you can go back to live your life as before.

When your loved one dies not only is he or she gone, all your dreams and plans for the future are gone too.

Nothing can bring back that shared dream or plan because the person that was a part of it isn’t there anymore.

Take a piece of paper now and write down what your shared dreams were.
Seriously, do it right now. (smile)

You might feel emotional. This is normal. Grief shows us our reality. There is no denying, no talking ourselves out of our situation.

Grief shakes us up, it shows us how deep our love for the loved one was. It also shows us how much we cared for the dreams we had built together.

You can tell yourself: “OK. Let’s just accept reality and move on.” and it might help.

I have some other ideas:

Read out loud what you have written before and let it resonate in your heart.
If you like to draw or paint, capture your dreams visually.
Or go for a walk and find a place in nature that resonates with your shared dream.
Call a friend and get together with her or him and talk about the dreams. Important: Ask your friend to just listen and not comment on it and then get a hug. (smile)

Give your dreams a voice, acknowledge them and show your heart that you still care.

Please let me know if I can be of help in any way.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

“What is it about summer that I am missing my husband even more?”

Finding your next step in life after loss

What does it mean to grieve? What can you do to get over it?

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