Category: Self Care

My Garden Is My Happy Place

6/5/2018

Spring at last in Nova Scotia.

If you are not in these parts at home you might wonder why I declare spring only now.

Spring starts for me when the first leaves come out on a particular tree in our backyard.
Today, it happened.

The first leaves are out. They are small and fragile. The lush green is so wonderful to see - again.

A sunny warm day brought me out into the garden to tackle all kinds of weed. It is a hands-on job on my knees. It is not always comfortable to hunker down like that but the smell.

The smell of the fresh earth and the green gras just make my heart sing.

I was reminded again how important it is to dig in the earth. To take in the smells, and letting long forgotten memories pass me by while doing my work.

I felt tired afterwards but also rewarded and happy.

Did you know that multiple studies have shown how playing in the dirt can have a drastic impact on our mental health?

Here is a great short article by Alanna Ketler

So get out there if you feel a bit down. If you don’t have a garden yourself go to a public garden and put your hands into the soil.

Take off your shoes and walk the ground.

Have fun playing and getting dirty. (smile)

Take good care,

Jacqueline

Do I Need To Pay Attention To My Resilience?

8/4/2018

Your-Resilience-Grows-With-You-Healing-For-Grieving-Hearts

Resilience has been on my mind lately again.

Psychologically resilience is defined as
an individual’s ability to adapt to stress and adversity.

Some of the factors that make someone resilient are:

a positive attitude
optimism
flexibility in thinking
the ability to regulate emotions
the ability to see failure as a form of helpful feedback
a believe in oneself
to take responsibility for one’s life
seek good relationships
acceptance of self, others, and life

Even after misfortune, resilient people are blessed with such an outlook that they are able to change course and carry on.

This does not mean that you just have to think positively and everything will fall into place.
Resilience is much more than that.

After a tragedy, like an illness that changes a career one might be very realistic and deal with the new situation by adjusting her possibilities.

Another person might go on and pursue a dream they didn’t think was worth taking seriously before the tragic event.

A third will find new meaning because they believe that there is a better future.

Resilient people don’t walk between the raindrops; they have scars to show for their experience. They struggle — but keep functioning anyway. Resilience is not the ability to escape unharmed.
Quote by Hara Estroff Marano

And the following quote in regards to grief sums it up quite well.

If one has always met life’s problems with strength and assurance, it is reasonable to assume that he [she] will meet this experience the same way. One who has been easily distressed by circumstances may be so disturbed by the encounter with death that he [she] will need guidance and special help.
- Edgar N. Jackson

We forme resilience over a lifetime.

In reality we have considerable capacity for strength, although we might not always be aware of it. Feelings of loss and grief can overshadow our ability of resilience.

That is where a helping hand of a friend or a therapist comes in. She will remind you of your resilience, your strength and your abilities. He will help you overcome the sadness that overshadows them.

Sometimes you need others to show you your strength that you have built over a life time.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

Is there comfort in sharing your memories of your loved one?

3/9/2017

Life teaches you resilience - that ability to bounce back. Kate Reardon - HealingForGrievingHearts.com

Would you say that you are a resilient person? That you find comfort by remembering your loved one while grieving his/her death?

It seems a bit odd to say that there might be a hidden comfort when you are in the middle of grief.

“However, resilient people seem generally to find comfort in talking about or thinking about the deceased. They can feel happy or at peace by doing so,”
writes George Bonanno in his book The Other Side of Sadness

I agree with him.
By talking and remembering your loved one, you add comfort to your difficult journey. You will experience that your relationship is not completely gone. Or even that some part of it is still alive.

Are you one of these people? Does the sharing of memories help and comfort you?

If not, try to start with little steps to activate your resilience. Talk about and share the stories of your loved one. Remember your relationship and share it with your friends or in a bereavement group.

If you feel like you cannot hold on to the positive memories, or like the memories are lost, find a friend or family member. Let them share their stories about your loved one. This will help you both. 💜

Take good care,
Jacqueline

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Grief will always hit us when we experience loss.

20/6/2017

Sharing your tears with others will help you heal - HealingForGrievingHearts.com

Grief will always hit us when we experience loss.

Do you find this statement to be true?

Not that long ago we had a discussion among friends asking ourselves this question.

We were divided and shared our experiences. Some felt that no matter what they did in the past that grief would hit them like a brick wall when a new loss happened.

Some said that because they had gone through a grieving process before with the help of someone or a group they felt more prepared. They would still grieve and feel the pain but that they had more insight, rituals, and knew with whom to share their feelings.

Just the knowledge that there were people out there that would understand them made the loss and grief less difficult.

You might experience both sides.

If you experience the sadness, pain and grief of losing a loved one and feel overwhelmed by your emotions you might want to have a look where you can get help.

Most towns have small bereavement groups that are free to attend. They are a good point to start if you don’t have anyone else. You can find them by searching the Internet or look at your local hospital's website.

Sharing memories about your loved one is healing. Even talking about how your loved one died can help you to let go of feelings that overwhelm you.

All of you that have been in an overwhelming grief situation know how difficult it can be to take this first step.

You can do it!

Take good care and don't forget I can help you too (smile),
Jacqueline

PS: If you like to talk to someone outside your inner circle about the grief you experience click now or click on the phone and make an appointment for a free call. ☎️ I can help you.
This free offer is open to former Healing for Grieving Hearts clients too.

Which word will transform your new year?

11/1/2017

Give yourself permission to take steps to fly. HealingForGrievingHearts.com

Happy New Year!
May it be a blessed one filled with good health, colourful days, and healing.

I hope you had a good start into the new year and that the holiday season treated you gently. It isn't always easy to get through those days of celebration when we don't feel like it.

When talking to people about their wishes for the new year they often mentioned that they chose a word for the new year.

I do that on a regular basis too. It helps me to take new steps and supports my wish for the new beginning. Plus the word can change during the year. 💜

Last year’s word was self-care. I managed quite well until the fall. Then work got busy and I forgot to keep myself accountable on my self-care promise. The result was a pinched nerve in my back mid December. Ouch! Still recuperating but I am much better.

This year’s word is Create.

I want to create:

helpful content for you
moments to relax and enjoy life
an online course that will help initiate healing
time to read, see friends more often, and go for long walks
meditations, paintings, and creative walks

If you would chose a word for 2017, what would it be? What will support you on your healing path?

Please share your word. 💜

Take good care,
Jacqueline

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My Garden Is My Happy Place

Do I Need To Pay Attention To My Resilience?

Is there comfort in sharing your memories of your loved one?

Grief will always hit us when we experience loss.

Which word will transform your new year?

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