Category: Self Care

Which word will transform your new year?

11/1/2017

Give yourself permission to take steps to fly. HealingForGrievingHearts.com

Happy New Year!
May it be a blessed one filled with good health, colourful days, and healing.

I hope you had a good start into the new year and that the holiday season treated you gently. It isn't always easy to get through those days of celebration when we don't feel like it.

When talking to people about their wishes for the new year they often mentioned that they chose a word for the new year.

I do that on a regular basis too. It helps me to take new steps and supports my wish for the new beginning. Plus the word can change during the year. 💜

Last year’s word was self-care. I managed quite well until the fall. Then work got busy and I forgot to keep myself accountable on my self-care promise. The result was a pinched nerve in my back mid December. Ouch! Still recuperating but I am much better.

This year’s word is Create.

I want to create:

helpful content for you
moments to relax and enjoy life
an online course that will help initiate healing
time to read, see friends more often, and go for long walks
meditations, paintings, and creative walks

If you would chose a word for 2017, what would it be? What will support you on your healing path?

Please share your word. 💜

Take good care,
Jacqueline

When have you last taken a vacation?

21/6/2016

When have you last taken a vacation? I mean a real vacation. Leaving everything behind. Taking time to unwind and just be.

You might think: What has that to do with grief? What is she getting at?

Would you not like to take a time out from your grief, from feeling overwhelmed and sad?

You might think that it wouldn’t be right to look after yourself and invest in a day, weekend or even a week at the beach, on the river, reading on a mountain hill, or paint plain air in a public garden.

When we grieve we often neglect the things that can help balance our mood, that uplift our spirit, and help us heal.

What is the most enjoyable thing you liked to do by yourself before your loved one died?

If you did everything together and my prompt makes you even more heartbroken, take pen and paper and write all the things down that you enjoyed doing together. Perhaps these memories trigger tears but I hope that they also bring a smile to your lips thinking of all the adventures you shared.

Perhaps there is an activity that would not be too painful to take on again on your own. If you still can’t think of anything have a look at your childhood. What was it that you did a lot and that made you smile? It could be a small thing like jumping into a puddle.

This week I challenge you to take a time out.

Remember that you make your own rules. You can share your self-care time with a friend or family member. (smile)
It can be an hour long or a whole week. Just do it.

Let me know how it worked for you.

I am taking two weeks off. I will be in rainy and soggy Switzerland and might just take that jump into a puddle. I will be back with you on July 6.

Take good care of yourself,
Jacqueline

Do you know the feeling of resentment?

1/3/2016

We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know. by W.H.Auden - HealingForGrievingHearts.com

When I work with clients various feelings come up for them and they are never the same for any one.

One of the feelings that might stop you in your tracks is resentment towards your loved one that has died.

All of a sudden you are left behind with all the tasks and chores that you shared. It is now up to you to look after everything.

The following tasks might lie heavy on your heart and overwhelm you even if you have done it before:
- parenting your children
- looking after an elderly parent
- paying bills and preparing taxes
- looking after your home
- make decisions alone

Every time you feel the resentment towards these chores you might also feel a stab of guilt. Guilt that you cannot let it be, that you are weak, that you obviously don't love your loved one as much as you thought.

Resentment will block your energy which you need to deal with the difficult situation that has come your way.

How to overcome this feeling of resentment and guilt?

One step is to acknowledge it as a normal reaction to a very difficult situation, a situation you had no control over.

Now it is time to get help from family members, friends, financial advisors (there are free consultations available), legal advice etc.

You don't have to make every decision yourself. Getting help will support you on your new path.

I wish you that you will find the help you need.

How do you feel about receiving?

26/1/2016

Everything comes to us that belongs to us if we create the capacity to receive it. -Rabindranath Tagore - HealingforGrievingHearts.com

In my last post I told you about my pending surgery and my fear of losing control.

In the end I just feel very humbled by the care and support I received.

Yes, I had to give up control but at the same time I received the care and expertise of doctors and nurses that knew what to do when I felt nauseated by the medications or overwhelmed by getting out of bed for the first time. (smile)

Friends and family were there for me with their healing thoughts and wonderful food. (smile)

I am still recovering and I am taking one day at a time. I focus on what is most important at each moment like relationships with friends, family and clients, and the love I feel for life itself.

I will take care of myself by balancing my activities, take even more time in nature, and by incorporating the advices I give my clients: (smile)

reach out for help
receive support
take nurturing breaks
meditate
be creative

How do you feel when you open up to receive?
Please share your thoughts with me.

I will be happy to make time for you. (smile)

Blessings,
Jacqueline

What a donkey taught me

7/4/2015

Equine Assisted Therapy can also help with grief. Donkeys are very intuitive and can help the healing process. www.HealingForGrievingHearts.com

Florian, my teacher the donkey.

My time in Switzerland was wonderful. I enjoyed the warm weather and the spring flowers in the gardens. The colours were a joy to soak in.

The little ritual for my mother’s Birthday helped me once more to honour and celebrate her life.

Every time I go to Switzerland my days are filled with visits to see all my friends and family members. Sometimes I am in such a hurry to see everyone that I forget to spend real time, quite time with my friends and family.

Then I met Flo (Florian). He is one of my sister-in-law’s donkies.

They have five donkies, two horses, one mule, one dog and two cats. You can imagine that they spend a lot of time in the stables, cleaning, feeding, riding and just spending time with them all.

My sister-in-law has a degree in Horse and Donkey Assisted Therapy also called Equine Assisted Therapy. Her stories of healing and support are impressive. My brother is working with the elderly and there are also two horses at his workplace.

I was glad that I chose to see my brother and his wife on my first weekend in Switzerland.

We had time to sit, to chat, to catch up on each other's lives and went on a little track with two of the donkies. I was given Flo because he had greeted me right away when I had stepped into the stable the day before.

I learned how to lead Flo, lovingly but with clear intentions.

Not getting distracted by his nudging on my arm or him stopping in the middle of the road was difficult in the beginning.

But then I realized that it was quite easy when I tuned into his needs and his pace and at the same time became clear about my pace, to lead, to be clear, and to stay calm.

His gift to me was a feeling of being centered and relaxed that never left me during my stay. In hindsight I realized that I spent more 'real' time with my friends and family because of the calm I felt.

What did Flo teach me?

To be present, to tune into a new challenge and to adjust to the new situation, to be firm and loving at the same time. All things that I knew before but just needed to be reminded of.

What is it that you need to be reminded of?

Love and blessings,
Jacqueline

Forward>>

Which word will transform your new year?

When have you last taken a vacation?

Do you know the feeling of resentment?

How do you feel about receiving?

What a donkey taught me

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