Category: Grief

Why You Have To Be Proactive When It Comes To Your Feelings

10/6/2018

Where do you store your feelings of grief and loss? HealingforGrievingHearts.com

Where do you store your feelings of loss and grief?

When I lost my mother, I was not prepared for the sadness that accompanied the days, weeks, and months after my mother’s death. It felt like carrying the sadness of every loss I had ever encountered in my heart.

There was nothing holding back the tears. The lid was open and I knew I had to work through my feelings and acknowledge them to be able to heal.

I had to be open to heal into a new me without my mother’s presence but her love still deeply embedded in my heart.

What do I mean when I say the lid was open?Think of our emotional centre as a pot and our feelings being kept in there by a lid on top of it.

As infants, our feelings move freely in and out. We cry when we are hungry. We laugh out loud when we are happy.

We react spontaneously to our feelings and no-one cares that we do so until we get older.

Then we learn to behave.

Somewhere on the way we also learn that a loss of any kind should be kept to ourselves. That it is a private affair.

Perhaps a grandparent dies and our parents don’t cry in front of us. So we don’t know if they are hurting or not.

Or we hear them cry behind closed doors. The message we get is: .....

Read the rest of this post at Medium.com

Lifting layers of grief through art therapy?

17/9/2017

Art making opens your soul and expresses what was waiting deep inside. HealingForGrievingHearts.com

When we are grieving if feels like our brain shuts down. Our focus shifts to the hurt in our heart and soul.

Our normal thought processes are interrupted by the experience of our feelings. More often than not we don’t have any words for what we feel. Our heart clenches. We have difficulties breathing. We long for a moment of peace and quiet inside our torn hearts.

In our younger years we have experienced loss of love and belonging before. We might have lost a pet, a friendship, a job, or had to move to a new city. Our younger self dealt with these loses. Most often it stored them and packed them away under layers of belief systems, we created, to survive the hurt.

At one point we encounter a new loss. This one can become the straw that brakes the camel’s back.

Talking about what is going on inside becomes difficult. We are missing the words that might bring us help.

This is where art therapy can help because we all think in images.

Experiment:

Don’t think of a tree right now.

No really, don’t think of a tree.

Did you see a tree with your inner eye when you read it?

Art therapy uses our ability of visual imagery to help us find the expression of our feelings. We don’t have to be artists or have knowledge of art making to do so. Our soul will guide us to find the expression that is helping us the most in that very moment. It will help us to shed layers of sadness and believes that are not necessary anymore.

By expressing our grief, our sadness, our heart break in a hands-on art making process the soul feels recognized and heard. The healing process starts.

If you want to know more about art therapy and how it can help you, give me a call.

I am here for you.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

PS: Want to receive these Healing Notes every second Sunday by email? Sign up now.

Shame, Loyalty, Rituals and more...

14/3/2017

Asking for help and surrounding yourself with supporters is sometimes necessary to reach a new peak. HealingForGrievingHearts.com

Today I was looking through my blog posts. I realized that there are some great ones. (smile)

You might have missed them.

I leave it up to you to dabble in them or just ignore these pointers.

How Shame can stop you on your Healing path.
Grieving brings up many overwhelming feelings. Shame can be one of them. I share thoughts inspired by Elizabeth Gilbert.

Does the Feeling of Loyalty keep you from Healing?
This post is about loyalty and what it can mean to your healing process.

Do I need art therapy/counselling?
Most of us don’t need outside help from an art therapist to get through the grieving process. So when should you look into it?

What is your life’s calling?
I am giving a short overview how it came about that I chose my profession/calling as an art therapist.

Special Days in your life: My mother’s birthday.
It is just that a look at my mother’s birthday and the rituals that I created to honour her and heal my broken heart. I would like to inspire you to create your own rituals.

Wisdom Grows in Quiet Places
This is a post about stillness.

I hope you will find something in this list that will make you feel less overwhelmed and more connected to your own unique healing path.

Like always you can get in touch if you want to speak or have questions. I am happy to answer your call or email.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

PS: If you like to talk to someone outside your inner circle about the grief you experience click on the phone and make an appointment for a free call. ☎️
This free offer is open to former Healing for Grieving Hearts clients too.

Are there any stages of grief?

28/2/2017

Follow the rope or skip it when you feel like it. It is you that decides. HealingForGrievingHearts.com

I get asked that question a lot. Here is what I say to those that aren't sure:

There are no clear defined stages of grief. Every person grieves in their individual unique way. Trying to put anyone into a defined stage of grief only leads to more hurt.

If anyone approaches us with their feelings of grief. We should just be quiet, open our heart and listen to that person without any judgement or advice. It is OK to say to them, that we have no words (for their grief).

Even if we have experienced loss ourselves in the past we still don’t know how our friends or family members feel when they experience the death of a loved one. We don’t know what they are feeling. Grief has no clear defined rules or timelines.

Please be there for each other, keep your heart open and your mouth shut (smile).

Listening from your heart is the biggest gift you can give in any grief situation.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

I am thinking of you today

14/2/2017

wisdom is nothing more than healed pain - author unknown - HealingForGrievingHearts.com

Today I take you in my arms and hold you in a gentle hug.

A hug that includes all the loved ones we are missing today.
A hug that might send a smile to your lips while thinking of them.
A hug that gives you warmth and understanding for the pain in your heart.

I am here for you.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

Contact me now. I can help you.

Which word will transform your new year?

11/1/2017

Give yourself permission to take steps to fly. HealingForGrievingHearts.com

Happy New Year!
May it be a blessed one filled with good health, colourful days, and healing.

I hope you had a good start into the new year and that the holiday season treated you gently. It isn't always easy to get through those days of celebration when we don't feel like it.

When talking to people about their wishes for the new year they often mentioned that they chose a word for the new year.

I do that on a regular basis too. It helps me to take new steps and supports my wish for the new beginning. Plus the word can change during the year. 💜

Last year’s word was self-care. I managed quite well until the fall. Then work got busy and I forgot to keep myself accountable on my self-care promise. The result was a pinched nerve in my back mid December. Ouch! Still recuperating but I am much better.

This year’s word is Create.

I want to create:

helpful content for you
moments to relax and enjoy life
an online course that will help initiate healing
time to read, see friends more often, and go for long walks
meditations, paintings, and creative walks

If you would chose a word for 2017, what would it be? What will support you on your healing path?

Please share your word. 💜

Take good care,
Jacqueline

Let nature help you heal your grieving heart

16/11/2016

Heal your grief. Walk in Nature.

You have heard me saying this many times.

Walking in nature can have a healing impact.

My tendency when I feel stuck in my thoughts is to get busy and take on more work than I can handle. This goes on until my body tells me it is enough. I will get a sore throat or, like last week, my back will start to hurt.

These are my weak points. They are telling me to take a moment and reflect.

It also happens because by being busy I have forgotten to move. I am not doing my ten minute yoga practice and I don’t go for regular walks.

So after I had ‘suffered’ and taken pain killers all week. On Sunday, I decided it was enough and I started to do gentle yoga moves every time I felt the pain in my back.
Breathing a lot and yes, swearing was involved too, because it hurt.

Today I went on a half hour walk in a nearby park. The smells in the forest were uplifting and wonderful. It was a concoction of decaying leaves, needle and sap from the evergreens, and wet earth.

I feel so much better today. I know it has to do with movement and the experience in nature this afternoon. I can still feel where the pain was but it is so much better.

Do you think a walk in nature could help your grieving heart too?
I know it won’t take away all your hurt but it might just give you a bit of comfort.

Don’t wait for the right moment. Just get dressed and go for a half hour walk even if it is in your own backyard.

Be outside, take in the smell of the fall season, and let nature do its healing.

I am sending you healing love.

Take good care,

Jacqueline

When will my grief be over? When will I recover from all this sadness?

1/11/2016

Last week a former Canadian politician died in an airplane accident with three other people. My heart goes out for their families. I cannot imagine what they are going through.

This incident flooded me with memories and deep grief about my nephew’s death. He died eight years ago in a Cessna accident as well.

Often I am asked: When will my grief be over? When will I recover from all this sadness?

There is no right answer to it. Sadness and grief can flood our feelings all of a sudden when there is a trigger, like the one with the airplane crash.

Eight years ago, the feelings were overwhelming and the crying didn’t want to stop.

This week it was a reminder how much I miss and love him and how much I still grief his death. But there is a difference between then and today. The feelings of sorrow are more gentle and not overwhelming anymore.

When will my grief be over? When will I recover from all this sadness?

Perhaps the most honest answer is: It will never be over.

Your feelings of overwhelming sadness will change towards a gentler form. You will change. You will be a new you having witnessed and felt the death of a loved one.

This loss will make you more empathetic, more loving, and more carrying if you chose to go that path.

It might be difficult right now but I trust in your resilience and inner healing power.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

PS: While we are stepping into a darker season let me help you shine some light on your healing path. 💜 Click here and make an appointment for a free phone call.

You have been confronted with death. What now?

19/10/2016

HealingForGrievingHearts.com program helps women navigate their unique grieving process with art therapy, mindfulness and gentle healing steps.

I am always looking for ways that could help you with your unique grieving process. You might like to join a grief support group, want to be alone, like to step into a guided grieving process with a therapist, or travel the world to find healing.

There is no right or wrong way, only your unique grieving process.

I discovered a new possibility that might be of interest to you if you don’t already know it. It is the Death Cafe.

Death Cafes encourage people to meet in coffee shops to discuss anything and everything to do with the subject of death, which is still a taboo in our culture.

A month ago, I joined a Death Cafe group in Halifax, Nova Scotia. I was curious to see what it was all about and how it might help the healing process.

I checked their website first: A Death Cafe is a group directed discussion of death with no agenda, objectives or themes. It is a discussion group rather than a grief support or counselling session. The aim is to increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives.

About 16 people gathered at a local coffee shop* to talk about death over a cup of tea or coffee.

As a new member I felt immediately welcomed due to the shared interest, respect and the openness of all group members. I was not the only new person in the circle that day.

We shared:

feelings of grief
stories about near death experiences
exchanged information about caregiving for the dying
and relieve to be able to speak about death without any hesitation.

There was a lot of empathy, encouragement, and openness to everyones concerns and stories.

I will go back for sure.

If you feel inspired to see if there is a Death Cafe in your neighbourhood you can check the Death Cafe website at or your local Meetup listings.

Let me know what you think about the concept of the Death Cafe.

If you would like personal help please let me know. We can arrange a free call so that you can move forward on your unique healing path.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

* Halifax, NS: Just Us Coffee shop at Spring Garden Road, first Thursday of the month from 12 - 1:30 p.m.

PS: I am not affiliated in any way with Death Cafe.

What clients say about the program:

Jacqueline's Healing for Grieving Hearts program was an oasis in my life at a time when I was grieving two losses: the loss of a beloved pet, and the loss of a significant relationship (through conflict, not death).

Jacqueline's caring presence and guidance, together with the exercises she created for me, created a safe space to voice and explore my difficult feelings. I loved how the exercises helped me get out of my head, and into the truth in my heart. Through the program, I found peace and clarity, and a renewed sense of direction in my life.
~ K. Nova Scotia

Is it possible to step away from your Grief?

12/7/2016

The gentle Healing for Grieving Hearts program will help you to navigate through your unique grieving process.

In my last post I gave you the advice to take time off. So that you could get away from your grief, from the overwhelm of your feelings by going on a vacation that could be an hour, a day, or even a week.

I still stand to the notion that you might want to start to add activities to your day that nurture you, that uplift your soul and make you smile.

You might have thought that this is difficult. You are right. Stepping away from your grief consciously is hard - even for just a moment.

My vacation lead me to Switzerland. I was stepping away from my everyday responsibilities but little did I know about my own feelings.

When I arrived in Switzerland I felt being pulled into my grief. There are too many places that are filled with memories of my mother. I was surprised how those feelings just flooded towards me.

So much for stepping away. (smile)

It was important to me to follow these feelings and to talk about my mother with relatives and friends.

The biggest healing part for me was a boat trip up the Lake of Zurich. To the island where we had celebrated my mother’s life and scattered her ashes into the lake like she had wished.

It was one of this wonderful clear days with the mountains visible at the horizon and the sun beaming.

I was glad to be alone on this trip with my mother residing inside my heart. She had always loved boat trips on the lake.

Yes, stepping away from your grief is hard although by doing it you connect with your resilience. You connect with your life force that is deeply embedded in you and wants to be nurtured to show itself.

What is an activity or place that helps you?

Please don’t hesitate to get in touch if you would like to find a clear answer.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

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