Category: Loss

Love Is A Huge Gift

5/8/2018

The last month has been heartbreaking.

You remember that our cat wasn’t well in the spring. She bounced back and we thought everything was OK. We thought/hoped that she had gotten over the hump and that she would live with us for another couple of years.

A month ago, she didn’t come home from her day outside. Over the last couple of years, she always stayed very close to the house. And even closer since she didn’t feel that well.

She always heard when I started to cook supper.

Immediately, I would have company in the kitchen.

She would wait for us to sit down for our meal. I don’t know when it started but over the last couple of years, she would get a few drops of cream on a small old plate on the floor. And we all ate together. (smile)

Later, she would spend the evening on one of our laps.

This isn’t happening anymore, because a month ago she didn’t return home.

We searched everywhere. We talked to neighboors, called all the shelters and vets, put up posters, and listed her missing on the local FB group.

We are coming to terms with the fact that she will not return. That she might have followed nature's call and went into hiding to die.

Every evening our heart breaks a bit more because she isn’t around anymore to share a meal with us.

Love is a huge gift and she has touched us deeply over the last ten years.

We are grieving the loss of our little companion. The loss of our fun times together, our rituals, our connection, and her trust that she gifted us with.

Our love for her will always be a part of us.

I am humbled again by my own grief that has enveloped me. I know it will get easier but we will always miss her and love her.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

PS: I will take a few weeks off to recharge, traveling around Nova Scotia with friends, and spend some time in my art studio. (smile)

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You can always reach me by email at jacqueline(at)healingforgrievinghearts.com

Why You Have To Be Proactive When It Comes To Your Feelings

10/6/2018

Where do you store your feelings of grief and loss? HealingforGrievingHearts.com

Where do you store your feelings of loss and grief?

When I lost my mother, I was not prepared for the sadness that accompanied the days, weeks, and months after my mother’s death. It felt like carrying the sadness of every loss I had ever encountered in my heart.

There was nothing holding back the tears. The lid was open and I knew I had to work through my feelings and acknowledge them to be able to heal.

I had to be open to heal into a new me without my mother’s presence but her love still deeply embedded in my heart.

What do I mean when I say the lid was open?Think of our emotional centre as a pot and our feelings being kept in there by a lid on top of it.

As infants, our feelings move freely in and out. We cry when we are hungry. We laugh out loud when we are happy.

We react spontaneously to our feelings and no-one cares that we do so until we get older.

Then we learn to behave.

Somewhere on the way we also learn that a loss of any kind should be kept to ourselves. That it is a private affair.

Perhaps a grandparent dies and our parents don’t cry in front of us. So we don’t know if they are hurting or not.

Or we hear them cry behind closed doors. The message we get is: .....

Read the rest of this post at Medium.com

What is your biggest wish today?

14/1/2018

The future depends on what you do today. Mahatma Gandhi HealingForGrievingHearts.com

January 14, 2018

I hope your new year has greeted you well. A new year always brings reflection about where we have been and where we want to go.

What is your biggest wish today?

After the loss of a loved one. Your world can feel upside down. You are living a new reality that has been thrown at you and sometimes you wish that....

What is that one wish you have right now? Unfortunately you cannot bring back your old life with your loved one. So what is it?

Don’t dismiss it. (smile) Just think about if for a moment.
Feel into your heart and listen.
Perhaps it is a good idea to close your eyes to hear your inner wish better.

Now, write that wish on a piece of paper or in your journal if you have one.

Is it a wish that you feel is achievable or is it a wish that is so out there that it will take years to fulfill it?

Either way. Take that wish seriously.

Write it down.

Tomorrow look at that wish again and see if your wish has changed over night.

Does it need adjustment? If so write that change next to your wish.

Try to look at your wish every day for the next one to three weeks.
If you would like you can also visualize how your life will look like when your wish becomes reality.

Maybe your wish changes to something new over time. Or it stays the same.

By starting to acknowledge your wishes and your hopes your brain will start to function in a new way. It will start to think towards the fulfillment of that wish and start to plot and create possibilities to make it happen.

When we are grieving it is difficult for us to think of anything else than the pain and sorrow we feel. Sometimes it is good to give our brain something else to think about.

Yes, such a "distraction" can lead to new insights of your life and reality.

It is possible that your thoughts will go in the opposite direction and will tell you that you will never be able to achieve that wish. If that happens, send me an email. I am here to help you. I answer every email personally.

You might find the above recommendation a bit too simple. I understand, but still….(smile)

Just try it out for one week. Give it just seven days of attention and see if you feel a change in your attitude and well-being after that week.

If you like to share your experience; I am here for you.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

PS: The Healing Rituals course will launch on January 19, 2018.

PSS: Give me a call. I am here for you. ☎️ This is a free offer and no sales pitch.

Is it possible to grieve the loss of a pet?

18/4/2017

Do you miss your companion? Feeling grief after the loss of a pet is normal. HealingForGrievingHearts.com

If you are a pet owner or you have lost a pet in the past your answer is probably yes.

Often we are hesitant to show our grief openly about a pet loss because we think we might be judged by society.

We might hear:
How can one seriously be so sad about the death of a pet?

Living with a pet means that we are living with a special companion. We can share anything with them. They don’t walk away from us when life gets tough. We can tell them our deepest feelings and know that they won’t repeat it to anyone else. They become our confidants. They never judge or criticize us. They stand with us no matter what happens in our life. Pets might even soften difficult family relationships.

So why would we think that we will feel different than losing a human family member or friend?
Why would we diminish what we feel, or hide it, or even be ashamed?

It might have to do with the fact that often society doesn’t value the connection to an animal as equal as to a person.

The most common advice grievers might get are:

You can get a new dog.
It was only a cat and she was old.

You know better.
Grief is grief no matter what the cause and it hurts.

If you lost a pet recently or a long time ago, my heart goes out to you.

Surround yourself with people you can share your feelings with. Talk about it so that you can acknowledge what you have lost and start healing your broken heart.

Love to you,
Jacqueline

Contact me now. I can help you.

Valentine's Day a Heart Breaking Event for Grievers

10/2/2015

Valentine's Day a heartbraking event for grievers

Valentine’s Day. It all started in pre-school, when we began making Valentine’s cards for friends and family. Then as we got older it shifted from family members to romantic attachments. Valentine’s Day has become for many a day to declare or reaffirm the bond with our loved one.

If you have lost a spouse it must be like having your heart broken over and over during this commercialized time leading up to Valentine’s Day.

Unfortunately there is little awareness in our society what a difficult time this must be for widows and widowers alike. You might feel isolated, alone, and as if no one understands.

What can you do to stay sane and grounded during this time?

If Valentine’s Day was significant for your relationship then you might want to celebrate the person that was so dear to you with a special get together with a friend or family. Celebrate by telling stories about them and share the love you experienced with others that understand and love you.
If you are more of an introvert, plan for a quite day. Maybe lit a candle and have a good meal at home. Give yourself the love of self-care.
Create a new ritual for the day: go for a walk, visit a museum, paint a mandala, journal, meet a friend for a coffee.

Either way there is no right or wrong. There is only your unique way.

It is a good idea to create a list of loving and understanding friends that will support you on anniversaries and special celebratory days. Friends that are willing and open to accept a change of mind at the last minute.

By being proactive about these special days you are actively taking care of yourself and leave the uncertainty that has entered your life behind.

I think of you and send love and healing your way.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

Don't forget if you or a family member needs personalized grief support, please don't hesitate to tell them about my offer that will continue in 2015:

I would like to give back and offer you and your friends my compassionate and listening heart for a free comforting 30 minute call. There are no strings attached to this call (This is not a sales pitch). It is important to me to help as many as I can.

If you feel you would like to speak to someone that understands grief and is outside of your direct relationship circle please take advantage of this offer. You will have my full compassionate attention and we will find little steps to help you breath easier and start your healing process.

If you know of someone that might be in need of a comforting talk please feel free to pass the offer on.

How to sign up for the free compassionate call? You or a friend of yours can get in touch with me through the contact form on my website at www.healingforgrievinghearts.com

Invitation to a free Compassionate Call

28/11/2014

Share your story - it does help. http://www.healingforgrievinghearts.com/relieve-grief.html

In October I wrote about how to be gentle to yourself during the Holiday season ahead. You can find the tips at: http://eepurl.com/5gUeb

Yesterday I was thinking of all the people in the US that were celebrating Thanksgiving and missing someone at their table.

Where they abel to remember their loved one with family members and friends?
Did they celebrate alone but with a beautiful ritual?
Where they missing a listening ear?

I hope they/you had company, a ritual, or some other means to feel connected.

How did you celebrate?

Thanksgiving is always a time were we contemplate what we are thankful for and for me it always comes down to relationships. I am most thankful for the people in my life that support, listen, and truly take time to hear me.

Because you all have become a part of my life I would like to give back and offer you my compassionate and listening heart for a free comforting 30 minute call. There are no strings attached to this call. It is important to me to help as many as I can.

If you feel you would like to speak to someone that understands grief and is outside of your direct relationship circle please take advantage of this offer. You will have my full compassionate attention and we will find little steps to help you breath easier and start your healing process.

If you know of someone that might be in need of a comforting talk please feel free to pass the offer on.

How to sign up for the free compassionate call? Let me know by contacting me at http://www.healingforgrievinghearts.com/relieve-grief.html

Blessings to you and yours,
Jacqueline

How to plan for the Holidays

10/10/2014

In Canada, we are celebrating Thanksgiving this weekend.

This holiday still reminds me of my nephew and the first time that he was missing at the Thanksgiving table. None of us was sure how to get through the celebration without him until his mother started to tell childhood stories. How he always was a little magnet for trouble although it often wasn't his fault in the first place.

We all added our memories of a young man that had died too early. Stories about him being out in the wilderness counting migration birds, planting trees and bringing back the most stunning photographs and smells. Oh yes the smells! after having lived out in the woods without a shower for a month.

You can imagine that the uneasiness subsided and we shared tears and laughter that day.

Have you already thought about the upcoming Holidays?

Anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays can turn into stressful times. Give yourself the permission to celebrate them in your own way.

Nothing is set in stone. Get in touch with your family or friends and let them know how you want to spend those upcoming holidays. Don't leave it up to chance.

Remember that you can change anything at the last minute. Be gentle with yourself and listen to your heart and inner wisdom.

Take good care,
Jacqueline