Category: Healing

Do you tell yourself to be strong for others?

25/2/2018

Take your time to heal and grow. HealingForGrievingHearts.com

Where are you in your grieving process?
Are you able to be patient with yourself?

When grieving the loss of a loved one we often don’t see over the mountain of pain and sorrow.

We want the pain to stop.

Sometimes we convince ourselves that it is better to ignore our pain. We might distract ourselves with work, Netflix, or hours on social media.

If you have to look out for children you might think that it is better to be strong for them.

Unfortunately the reality is that being strong for others will prolong your grief. Hiding it from your children will teach them that grieving about a loved one is wrong. They might start to hide their feelings as well. You don’t want that.

"Grieving is an inherently human and healthy process. However, when we ignore the reality of the grieving experience, we prolong our pain and cause damage to ourselves. "

When we grieve, we have to integrate a new reality into our lives.

It is important that we have compassion for and with ourselves as we heal.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

PS: Do you want to dive into rituals as healing tools? Healing Rituals online course is here.

How to cope with Grief on Valentine's Day?

11/2/2018

Be gentle with yourself. HealingForGrievingHearts.com

Special days in your calendar can trigger your pain of loss and grief.

If you and your loved one celebrated Valentine’s Day then you know what I am talking about. It isn’t easy to see all the decorations in the stores and the flyers advertising wonderful nights out.

It is difficult to ignore the beautiful red hearts everywhere.

What do you do when the feelings of deep sadness overwhelm you?
To whom do you turn for comfort and support?
Who do you ask for help to get through another special day of fond memories and stories?
Who will help you cherish the memories of your loved one?

Yes, it is always a good idea to ask for help from your friends and family. You don’t have to pretend that everything is OK. Reach out to others to get the hug you need or a listening ear to share your stories and memories.

If you feel you don’t want to reach out to others that is OK. Take a pen and paper. Share your feelings by writing them down so that what is going on inside your broken heart becomes visible.

You can ask yourself how your loved one would want to be remembered on that day.

Is there a dish that she or he liked very much?
Did he or she have a favourite flower?

Cook the dish or order it in, buy the flowers and decorate your dining table with them. Celebrate the love you still feel. I am sure you have even better ideas.

Healing the grieving heart starts when you become pro-active. Your soul wants to express itself. Feelings and love want to be seen. Give them a voice.

What is it that you can do on Valentine’s Day that will support your healing process?

Take good care,
Jacqueline

PS: Do you want to dive into rituals as healing tools? Healing Rituals online course is here.

Allow yourself to heal. What does that mean when grieving?

20/12/2017

Allow yourself to heal. -HealingForGrievingHearts.com

Allow yourself to heal

What do I mean by that?

When we are hurting lots of us have the tendency to hide inside ourselves.
We want to deal with all our feelings by ourselves. Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn’t.

When you are grieving the loss of a loved one you might want to rethink how to cope with your feelings and pain.

Allowing yourself to heal means to create space that will help you heal.

That space can be nature.
It can be a corner in your home where you light a candle for your loved one.
It can be a get together with a good friend that doesn’t judge you for what you are feeling.
It can be a celebration of your loved one's life where memories are shared.

Allowing yourself to heal means to become active in your healing process. (click to tweet)

It means to step out or your own inside turmoil and transform it into a visible dialogue. This can be painting, journaling, rituals, and memory sharing.

The coming holidays might be a first step to try new possibilities. The most important part is to be gentle with yourself. I wrote a post last year about how to prepare for the holidays. You can find it here.

I am wishing you that you will find the space that helps you heal and that you will be surrounded by supportive family members and/or friends.

I am keeping you in my heart,
Jacqueline

The Healing Rituals course will launch on January 19, 2018.

Interested to get early access? Sign up here.
(You don't buy anything at this point.)

When words are missing. How to support each other through grief.

15/10/2017

Two weeks ago, a group of like-minded people met and we talked about all things life.

One of our group members shared her recent experience of grief and helplessness over the suicide of a loved one.

We all went silent. Most of us cried with her and for the family that was left behind with many unanswered questions.

There were no words to comfort. No words to make it easier for her.
There were only our open hearts to listen and be with her fully.

Just being there for each other and listening is healing.

We all know that it doesn’t take the pain of grieving away but the sharing helps to realize that we are not alone in this.

Are you in the midst of grieving or a painful anniversary date is coming your way soon? Reach out to people that are open to listen to you and/or just be with you.

May you all find loving support even when your own words are missing.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

PS: Give me a call. I am here for you. ☎️

Lifting layers of grief through art therapy?

17/9/2017

Art making opens your soul and expresses what was waiting deep inside. HealingForGrievingHearts.com

When we are grieving if feels like our brain shuts down. Our focus shifts to the hurt in our heart and soul.

Our normal thought processes are interrupted by the experience of our feelings. More often than not we don’t have any words for what we feel. Our heart clenches. We have difficulties breathing. We long for a moment of peace and quiet inside our torn hearts.

In our younger years we have experienced loss of love and belonging before. We might have lost a pet, a friendship, a job, or had to move to a new city. Our younger self dealt with these loses. Most often it stored them and packed them away under layers of belief systems, we created, to survive the hurt.

At one point we encounter a new loss. This one can become the straw that brakes the camel’s back.

Talking about what is going on inside becomes difficult. We are missing the words that might bring us help.

This is where art therapy can help because we all think in images.

Experiment:

Don’t think of a tree right now.

No really, don’t think of a tree.

Did you see a tree with your inner eye when you read it?

Art therapy uses our ability of visual imagery to help us find the expression of our feelings. We don’t have to be artists or have knowledge of art making to do so. Our soul will guide us to find the expression that is helping us the most in that very moment. It will help us to shed layers of sadness and believes that are not necessary anymore.

By expressing our grief, our sadness, our heart break in a hands-on art making process the soul feels recognized and heard. The healing process starts.

If you want to know more about art therapy and how it can help you, give me a call.

I am here for you.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

PS: Want to receive these Healing Notes every second Sunday by email? Sign up now.

Are you wondering how you can cherish your memories and honour your loved one?

2/7/2017

Share your Memories - HealingForGrievingHearts.com

Are you wondering how you can cherish your memories and honour your loved one?

A friend of mine shared the following story last week on Facebook.

When my father passed away quite a few years ago my mother asked us if we would like to have something of his to remember him by.

I chose his dress shoes as they remind me of when he would take each of my siblings and I out to dinner separately. Wonderful conversation while dining and having him all to myself for an evening.

I keep the shoes on a beam above my head in the studio where I paint . I have only taken them down once when our son Jack needed to wear them for a play he was in ( he has since out grown them).

I took them down again last weekend and polished them up for our daughters prom date to wear. Not only did my dad get to be at his granddaughters prom but he got to dance with her as well. ❤️

Just in case you wondered. I asked her if it would be OK to share her story with you.

This was her answer: My father was a lovely man who loved and supported his four daughters in every way. I am and know he would be honoured if you shared this story.

If you have a similar story that you would like to share get in touch.

Grief will always hit us when we experience loss.

20/6/2017

Sharing your tears with others will help you heal - HealingForGrievingHearts.com

Grief will always hit us when we experience loss.

Do you find this statement to be true?

Not that long ago we had a discussion among friends asking ourselves this question.

We were divided and shared our experiences. Some felt that no matter what they did in the past that grief would hit them like a brick wall when a new loss happened.

Some said that because they had gone through a grieving process before with the help of someone or a group they felt more prepared. They would still grieve and feel the pain but that they had more insight, rituals, and knew with whom to share their feelings.

Just the knowledge that there were people out there that would understand them made the loss and grief less difficult.

You might experience both sides.

If you experience the sadness, pain and grief of losing a loved one and feel overwhelmed by your emotions you might want to have a look where you can get help.

Most towns have small bereavement groups that are free to attend. They are a good point to start if you don’t have anyone else. You can find them by searching the Internet or look at your local hospital's website.

Sharing memories about your loved one is healing. Even talking about how your loved one died can help you to let go of feelings that overwhelm you.

All of you that have been in an overwhelming grief situation know how difficult it can be to take this first step.

You can do it!

Take good care and don't forget I can help you too (smile),
Jacqueline

PS: If you like to talk to someone outside your inner circle about the grief you experience click reply now or click on the phone and make an appointment for a free call. ☎️ I can help you.
This free offer is open to former Healing for Grieving Hearts clients too.

How simple movements can help you when you are grieving

3/5/2017

Tears are a sign that our Well of Love is overflowing. -HealingForGrievingHearts.com

I often talk about how much walking in nature helps me to relax and to centre myself when I feel overwhelmed by feelings. These feelings can be grief, anger, sadness, fatigue ...

It is not only the fresh air and the walking but also the changed breathing pattern that helps me to relax and open my mind to new insights.

Grieving can be a very physical sensation. There might be tension in our shoulders, back pain, or our nervous system becomes out of balance. The shock of the reality we are facing can lead us to a state of fight-flight response. Our body reacts with stress symptoms like shallow breathing, a compromised immune system, our logical thinking might be impaired too, while we try to comprehend what has happened to our life as we knew it.

What can we do to find a new balance and taking care of ourselves?

According to Traditional Chinese Medicine the lungs are a key area where we might hold the energy of grief.
It is a good idea to open up our lungs by breathing deeply.

This can be accomplished by

standing or sitting
open up your arms wide as if you would want to embrace someone (breathe in)
give yourself a hug (breathing out)

Repeat as many times as you wish. I find 3-5 times a good number.

After you release your arms to your side take a deep breath and let it out with a sigh.

If at any point you feel tears well up please give yourself the space to cry.

Tears are a sign that our well of love is overflowing.

Let the tears flow. By doing so you acknowledge your feelings. You release energy that might otherwise block you from moving forward.

Let me know what your go to moves are so that I can share them with others.

PS: If you like to talk to someone outside your inner circle about the grief you experience click on the phone and make an appointment for a free call. ☎️
This free offer is open to former Healing for Grieving Hearts clients too.

Is it possible to grieve the loss of a pet?

18/4/2017

Do you miss your companion? Feeling grief after the loss of a pet is normal. HealingForGrievingHearts.com

If you are a pet owner or you have lost a pet in the past your answer is probably yes.

Often we are hesitant to show our grief openly about a pet loss because we think we might be judged by society.

We might hear:
How can one seriously be so sad about the death of a pet?

Living with a pet means that we are living with a special companion. We can share anything with them. They don’t walk away from us when life gets tough. We can tell them our deepest feelings and know that they won’t repeat it to anyone else. They become our confidants. They never judge or criticize us. They stand with us no matter what happens in our life. Pets might even soften difficult family relationships.

So why would we think that we will feel different than losing a human family member or friend?
Why would we diminish what we feel, or hide it, or even be ashamed?

It might have to do with the fact that often society doesn’t value the connection to an animal as equal as to a person.

The most common advice grievers might get are:

You can get a new dog.
It was only a cat and she was old.

You know better.
Grief is grief no matter what the cause and it hurts.

If you lost a pet recently or a long time ago, my heart goes out to you.

Surround yourself with people you can share your feelings with. Talk about it so that you can acknowledge what you have lost and start healing your broken heart.

Love to you,
Jacqueline

Contact me now. I can help you.

Shame, Loyalty, Rituals and more...

14/3/2017

Asking for help and surrounding yourself with supporters is sometimes necessary to reach a new peak. HealingForGrievingHearts.com

Today I was looking through my blog posts. I realized that there are some great ones. (smile)

You might have missed them.

I leave it up to you to dabble in them or just ignore these pointers.

How Shame can stop you on your Healing path.
Grieving brings up many overwhelming feelings. Shame can be one of them. I share thoughts inspired by Elizabeth Gilbert.

Does the Feeling of Loyalty keep you from Healing?
This post is about loyalty and what it can mean to your healing process.

Do I need art therapy/counselling?
Most of us don’t need outside help from an art therapist to get through the grieving process. So when should you look into it?

What is your life’s calling?
I am giving a short overview how it came about that I chose my profession/calling as an art therapist.

Special Days in your life: My mother’s birthday.
It is just that a look at my mother’s birthday and the rituals that I created to honour her and heal my broken heart. I would like to inspire you to create your own rituals.

Wisdom Grows in Quiet Places
This is a post about stillness.

I hope you will find something in this list that will make you feel less overwhelmed and more connected to your own unique healing path.

Like always you can get in touch if you want to speak or have questions. I am happy to answer your call or email.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

PS: If you like to talk to someone outside your inner circle about the grief you experience click on the phone and make an appointment for a free call. ☎️
This free offer is open to former Healing for Grieving Hearts clients too.

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