Category: Death

Love Is A Huge Gift

5/8/2018

The last month has been heartbreaking.

You remember that our cat wasn’t well in the spring. She bounced back and we thought everything was OK. We thought/hoped that she had gotten over the hump and that she would live with us for another couple of years.

A month ago, she didn’t come home from her day outside. Over the last couple of years, she always stayed very close to the house. And even closer since she didn’t feel that well.

She always heard when I started to cook supper.

Immediately, I would have company in the kitchen.

She would wait for us to sit down for our meal. I don’t know when it started but over the last couple of years, she would get a few drops of cream on a small old plate on the floor. And we all ate together. (smile)

Later, she would spend the evening on one of our laps.

This isn’t happening anymore, because a month ago she didn’t return home.

We searched everywhere. We talked to neighboors, called all the shelters and vets, put up posters, and listed her missing on the local FB group.

We are coming to terms with the fact that she will not return. That she might have followed nature's call and went into hiding to die.

Every evening our heart breaks a bit more because she isn’t around anymore to share a meal with us.

Love is a huge gift and she has touched us deeply over the last ten years.

We are grieving the loss of our little companion. The loss of our fun times together, our rituals, our connection, and her trust that she gifted us with.

Our love for her will always be a part of us.

I am humbled again by my own grief that has enveloped me. I know it will get easier but we will always miss her and love her.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

Remembering a friend that died too young

28/1/2018

Enjoy Natures Beauty in any Season. - HealingForGrievingHearts.com

We had this brilliantly sunny day after a snowfall a few days ago. The Air was crisp. The sunshine flooded everything. Little stars seemed to radiate their warmth from frozen leaves on bushes.

The atmosphere reminded me of skiing in the Swiss Alps with my college boyfriend. He was funny, smart, handsome, and the best teacher to improve your skiing skills. (smile)

One winter, we were in the mountains with his friends. He wanted to show off and claimed that his girlfriend had learned so much from him that she could take on the steepest hill on the mountain. Would I not have been in love with him and wanted him to be proud, I would have never agreed to get down that hill. (smile)

He always told me to put my whole weight on my skies to control them best. So that day, I did just that and made it down the hill in one piece. To this day, I tell myself sometimes: Push your whole weight down on the ground for best control."

Over time, our relationship changed, and we split up but stayed good friends. He got killed in a motorcycle accident just before his 25th birthday. Losing my friend was devastating, and my grief was deep and unexpectedly painful.

On this sunny snow day, I remembered him, his jokes, and his advice.
So, I will plant my feet firmly on the ground for the coming weeks.

My love for him and our friendship will always have a special place in my heart.

What does trigger your memories?
Who is on your mind today?

Sharing our stories is a part of the healing process.

Memories assure us our hearts will always keep a loving space for our loved ones who have died too early.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

Can you transform your grief?

4/4/2017

Transformation Happens - Listen Quietly HealingForGrievingHearts.com

Before losing my mother, I had lost people that were close. I did understand that without them there would always be a scar on my heart. Life without them wasn’t the same anymore.

Despite all that knowledge and my training as an art therapist I thought that one day that scar wouldn’t hurt anymore. After dealing with the shock and the pain I would just move on with my life thinking of them in a loving way but without pain. Transforming all my grief.

Two weeks ago, my mother would have celebrated her 87th Birthday if she would still be with us. When the day came I couldn’t believe that despite her being dead for almost four years it was again a tough day.

I realized once more that grief is an ongoing process that will last a lifetime. Yes, it does quietly change and transform into something new but still....

These special dates can bring to the surface a mix of love and grief.

We might experience it as feelings of being ‘off’ and we are not quite sure why. Then we remember the closing in of a date or an anniversary and we feel the pain.

It is like our body has stored the memory in our cells and when the day comes closer these cells take over.

What helps me a great deal on those days are rituals and the permission that I give myself to have a good cry.

Whether you are grieving a recent loss or one from long ago, my heart goes out to you.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

Are there any stages of grief?

28/2/2017

Follow the rope or skip it when you feel like it. It is you that decides. HealingForGrievingHearts.com

I get asked that question a lot. So here is what I say to those that aren't sure:

There are no clearly defined stages of grief. Every person grieves in their unique way. Trying to put anyone into a defined stage of grief only leads to more hurt.

Suppose anyone approaches us with their feelings of grief. We should just be quiet, open our hearts and listen to that person without judgment or advice. It is OK to say to them that we have no words (for their grief).

Even if we have experienced loss ourselves in the past, we still don't know how our friends or family members feel when they experience the death of a loved one. We don't know what they are feeling. Grief has no clearly defined rules or timelines.

Please be there for each other, keep your heart open and your mouth shut (smile).

Listening from your heart is the most significant gift you can give in any grief situation.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

You have been confronted with death. What now?

19/10/2016

HealingForGrievingHearts.com program helps women navigate their unique grieving process with art therapy, mindfulness and gentle healing steps.

I am always looking for ways that could help you with your unique grieving process. You might like to join a grief support group, want to be alone, like to step into a guided grieving process with a therapist, or travel the world to find healing.

There is no right or wrong way, only your unique grieving process.

I discovered a new possibility that might be of interest to you if you don’t already know it. It is the Death Cafe.

Death Cafes encourage people to meet in coffee shops to discuss anything and everything to do with the subject of death, which is still a taboo in our culture.

A month ago, I joined a Death Cafe group in Halifax, Nova Scotia. I was curious to see what it was all about and how it might help the healing process.

I checked their website first: A Death Cafe is a group directed discussion of death with no agenda, objectives or themes. It is a discussion group rather than a grief support or counselling session. The aim is to increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives.

About 16 people gathered at a local coffee shop* to talk about death over a cup of tea or coffee.

As a new member I felt immediately welcomed due to the shared interest, respect and the openness of all group members. I was not the only new person in the circle that day.

We shared:

feelings of grief
stories about near death experiences
exchanged information about caregiving for the dying
and relieve to be able to speak about death without any hesitation.

There was a lot of empathy, encouragement, and openness to everyone's concerns and stories.

I will go back for sure.

If you feel inspired to see if there is a Death Cafe in your neighbourhood you can check the Death Cafe website at or your local Meetup listings.

Let me know what you think about the concept of the Death Cafe.

If you would like personal help please let me know. We can arrange a free call so that you can move forward on your unique healing path.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

PS: I am not affiliated in any way with Death Cafe.

What clients say about the program:

Jacqueline's Healing for Grieving Hearts program was an oasis in my life at a time when I was grieving two losses: the loss of a beloved pet, and the loss of a significant relationship (through conflict, not death).

Jacqueline's caring presence and guidance, together with the exercises she created for me, created a safe space to voice and explore my difficult feelings. I loved how the exercises helped me get out of my head, and into the truth in my heart. Through the program, I found peace and clarity, and a renewed sense of direction in my life.
~ K. Nova Scotia

Love Is A Huge Gift

Remembering a friend that died too young

Can you transform your grief?

Are there any stages of grief?

You have been confronted with death. What now?

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