Before losing my mother, I had lost people that were close. I did understand that without them there would always be a scar on my heart. Life without them wasn’t the same anymore.
Despite all that knowledge and my training as an art therapist I thought that one day that scar wouldn’t hurt anymore. After dealing with the shock and the pain I would just move on with my life thinking of them in a loving way but without pain. Transforming all my grief.
Two weeks ago, my mother would have celebrated her 87th Birthday if she would still be with us. When the day came I couldn’t believe that despite her being dead for almost four years it was again a tough day.
I realized once more that grief is an ongoing process that will last a lifetime. Yes, it does quietly change and transform into something new but still....
These special dates can bring to the surface a mix of love and grief.
We might experience it as feelings of being ‘off’ and we are not quite sure why. Then we remember the closing in of a date or an anniversary and we feel the pain.
It is like our body has stored the memory in our cells and when the day comes closer these cells take over.
What helps me a great deal on those days are rituals and the permission that I give myself to have a good cry.
Whether you are grieving a recent loss or one from long ago, my heart goes out to you.
Take good care,