Category: Compassion

Do you tell yourself to be strong for others?

25/2/2018

Take your time to heal and grow. HealingForGrievingHearts.com

Where are you in your grieving process?
Are you able to be patient with yourself?

When grieving the loss of a loved one we often don’t see over the mountain of pain and sorrow.

We want the pain to stop.

Sometimes we convince ourselves that it is better to ignore our pain. We might distract ourselves with work, Netflix, or hours on social media.

If you have to look out for children you might think that it is better to be strong for them.

Unfortunately the reality is that being strong for others will prolong your grief. Hiding it from your children will teach them that grieving about a loved one is wrong. They might start to hide their feelings as well. You don’t want that.

"Grieving is an inherently human and healthy process. However, when we ignore the reality of the grieving experience, we prolong our pain and cause damage to ourselves. "

When we grieve, we have to integrate a new reality into our lives.

It is important that we have compassion for and with ourselves as we heal.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

PS: Do you want to dive into rituals as healing tools? Healing Rituals online course is here.

When words are missing. How to support each other through grief.

15/10/2017

Two weeks ago, a group of like-minded people met and we talked about all things life.

One of our group members shared her recent experience of grief and helplessness over the suicide of a loved one.

We all went silent. Most of us cried with her and for the family that was left behind with many unanswered questions.

There were no words to comfort. No words to make it easier for her.
There were only our open hearts to listen and be with her fully.

Just being there for each other and listening is healing.

We all know that it doesn’t take the pain of grieving away but the sharing helps to realize that we are not alone in this.

Are you in the midst of grieving or a painful anniversary date is coming your way soon? Reach out to people that are open to listen to you and/or just be with you.

May you all find loving support even when your own words are missing.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

Grief will always hit us when we experience loss.

20/6/2017

Sharing your tears with others will help you heal - HealingForGrievingHearts.com

Grief will always hit us when we experience loss.

Do you find this statement to be true?

Not that long ago we had a discussion among friends asking ourselves this question.

We were divided and shared our experiences. Some felt that no matter what they did in the past that grief would hit them like a brick wall when a new loss happened.

Some said that because they had gone through a grieving process before with the help of someone or a group they felt more prepared. They would still grieve and feel the pain but that they had more insight, rituals, and knew with whom to share their feelings.

Just the knowledge that there were people out there that would understand them made the loss and grief less difficult.

You might experience both sides.

If you experience the sadness, pain and grief of losing a loved one and feel overwhelmed by your emotions you might want to have a look where you can get help.

Most towns have small bereavement groups that are free to attend. They are a good point to start if you don’t have anyone else. You can find them by searching the Internet or look at your local hospital's website.

Sharing memories about your loved one is healing. Even talking about how your loved one died can help you to let go of feelings that overwhelm you.

All of you that have been in an overwhelming grief situation know how difficult it can be to take this first step.

You can do it!

Take good care and don't forget I can help you too (smile),
Jacqueline

How to honour the life of a loved one?

6/6/2017

There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self. -Aldous Huxley -HealingForGrievingHearts.com

The last weekend turned into devastation for many people that visited London and had a good time out and about.

My heart goes out to all the families, friends, and colleagues that have lost someone or are caring for a loved one still in hospital.

You might have heard the story of the young woman from Canada that was hit by the van and then died in her fiancé's arms.

Her family found a way to honour her that I felt inspiring. Chrissy had worked for years in a homeless shelter and cared deeply for others. Her family asked the public and friends to honour her by doing something good for others. Like donating time, bringing clothing or food to a homeless shelter and telling the staff that “Chrissy sent me”.

Immediately that sparked an outpouring of support to food banks and homeless shelters all over.

We as people connect to stories of loss and pain. We want to be there for each other. We appreciate when we are given a task or a gesture to honour the person that has died.

Why do I write about this?

In the midst of our grief we sometimes cannot see that others grief too. It is helpful to tell others what they can do to honour the person that has died.

I assure you it does not only help them but also you.

When my mother died I told everyone to bake (or buy) a cake for someone else that could use a little pick-me-up. My mother loved to bake cakes for others.

The emails and images I got from friends and family that took me up on this request were amazing. It made me cry but at the same time I had the feeling that my mother was really seen and honoured.

Perhaps there is something you would like to do today, that would honour your loved one? Go do it, even if it feels a bit silly.

Are there any stages of grief?

28/2/2017

Follow the rope or skip it when you feel like it. It is you that decides. HealingForGrievingHearts.com

I get asked that question a lot. So here is what I say to those that aren't sure:

There are no clearly defined stages of grief. Every person grieves in their unique way. Trying to put anyone into a defined stage of grief only leads to more hurt.

Suppose anyone approaches us with their feelings of grief. We should just be quiet, open our hearts and listen to that person without judgment or advice. It is OK to say to them that we have no words (for their grief).

Even if we have experienced loss ourselves in the past, we still don't know how our friends or family members feel when they experience the death of a loved one. We don't know what they are feeling. Grief has no clearly defined rules or timelines.

Please be there for each other, keep your heart open and your mouth shut (smile).

Listening from your heart is the most significant gift you can give in any grief situation.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

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Do you tell yourself to be strong for others?

When words are missing. How to support each other through grief.

Grief will always hit us when we experience loss.

How to honour the life of a loved one?

Are there any stages of grief?

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