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Grief explained by an old man

19/8/2015

 
Grief is like the Ocean it comes in waves.... www.HealingForGrievingHearts.com

A beautiful story of grief, scars that deep love leaves behind, the crashing waves of sadness that overwhelm you sometimes.

We don't know where it originated and I don't know who wrote it but the following resonated deeply with me. 

I share a part of it here and you can find the whole text at: http://www.tickld.com/x/old-man-explains-death-and-life-to-grieving-young-man

I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. 

I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents...

I wish I could say you get used to people dying. But I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. 

Scars are a testament to life. 

Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see.

As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.

In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life
."...
more at http://www.tickld.com/x/old-man-explains-death-and-life-to-grieving-young-man

Does this story resonate with you?
In what way?

Get in touch to tell me about your experience. I offer free phone sessions. 

Get the Healing Notes here. 



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    Author

    Jacqueline Steudler is an Art Therapist and Grief Recovery Specialist®.
    ​
    Her program 
    Healing For Grieving Hearts enables you to move from overwhelming grief to a new sense of purpose. The program includes mindful action steps and therapeutic art interventions. Jacqueline facilitates the program in person or by Zoom. 
    http://www.healingforgrievinghearts.com

    Book a FREE 30-minute call.

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