Category: Art Therapy

Is it possible to step away from your Grief?

12/7/2016

The gentle Healing for Grieving Hearts program will help you to navigate through your unique grieving process.

In my last post I gave you the advice to take time off. So that you could get away from your grief, from the overwhelm of your feelings by going on a vacation that could be an hour, a day, or even a week.

I still stand to the notion that you might want to start to add activities to your day that nurture you, that uplift your soul and make you smile.

You might have thought that this is difficult. You are right. Stepping away from your grief consciously is hard - even for just a moment.

My vacation lead me to Switzerland. I was stepping away from my everyday responsibilities but little did I know about my own feelings.

When I arrived in Switzerland I felt being pulled into my grief. There are too many places that are filled with memories of my mother. I was surprised how those feelings just flooded towards me.

So much for stepping away. (smile)

It was important to me to follow these feelings and to talk about my mother with relatives and friends.

The biggest healing part for me was a boat trip up the Lake of Zurich. To the island where we had celebrated my mother’s life and scattered her ashes into the lake like she had wished.

It was one of this wonderful clear days with the mountains visible at the horizon and the sun beaming.

I was glad to be alone on this trip with my mother residing inside my heart. She had always loved boat trips on the lake.

Yes, stepping away from your grief is hard although by doing it you connect with your resilience. You connect with your life force that is deeply embedded in you and wants to be nurtured to show itself.

What is an activity or place that helps you?

Please don’t hesitate to get in touch if you would like to find a clear answer.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

When have you last taken a vacation?

21/6/2016

When have you last taken a vacation? I mean a real vacation. Leaving everything behind. Taking time to unwind and just be.

You might think: What has that to do with grief? What is she getting at?

Would you not like to take a time out from your grief, from feeling overwhelmed and sad?

You might think that it wouldn’t be right to look after yourself and invest in a day, weekend or even a week at the beach, on the river, reading on a mountain hill, or paint plain air in a public garden.

When we grieve we often neglect the things that can help balance our mood, that uplift our spirit, and help us heal.

What is the most enjoyable thing you liked to do by yourself before your loved one died?

If you did everything together and my prompt makes you even more heartbroken, take pen and paper and write all the things down that you enjoyed doing together. Perhaps these memories trigger tears but I hope that they also bring a smile to your lips thinking of all the adventures you shared.

Perhaps there is an activity that would not be too painful to take on again on your own. If you still can’t think of anything have a look at your childhood. What was it that you did a lot and that made you smile? It could be a small thing like jumping into a puddle.

This week I challenge you to take a time out.

Remember that you make your own rules. You can share your self-care time with a friend or family member. (smile)
It can be an hour long or a whole week. Just do it.

Let me know how it worked for you.

I am taking two weeks off. I will be in rainy and soggy Switzerland and might just take that jump into a puddle. I will be back with you on July 6.

Take good care of yourself,
Jacqueline

What does it mean to grieve? What can you do to get over it?

7/6/2016

If you have read my emails for the last couple of months you know what my answer is. (smile)

Grief is unique and everyone grieves in their own way. There are no stages that you can follow and then you are done and you can go back to live your life as before.

When your loved one dies not only is he or she gone, all your dreams and plans for the future are gone too.

Nothing can bring back that shared dream or plan because the person that was a part of it isn’t there anymore.

Take a piece of paper now and write down what your shared dreams were.
Seriously, do it right now. (smile)

You might feel emotional. This is normal. Grief shows us our reality. There is no denying, no talking ourselves out of our situation.

Grief shakes us up, it shows us how deep our love for the loved one was. It also shows us how much we cared for the dreams we had built together.

You can tell yourself: “OK. Let’s just accept reality and move on.” and it might help.

I have some other ideas:

Read out loud what you have written before and let it resonate in your heart.
If you like to draw or paint, capture your dreams visually.
Or go for a walk and find a place in nature that resonates with your shared dream.
Call a friend and get together with her or him and talk about the dreams. Important: Ask your friend to just listen and not comment on it and then get a hug. (smile)

Give your dreams a voice, acknowledge them and show your heart that you still care.

Please let me know if I can be of help in any way.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

Do I need counselling/art therapy?

23/5/2016

Have you asked yourself that question or has someone pointed it out to you?

Not everyone that is grieving needs counseling/art therapy.

You might grieve alone, talk to a friend after you have suffered a loss and you do not need a counsellor. If you feel your friends don’t understand your feelings and what you are going through, perhaps a counsellor might be helpful at one point. But don’t rush into it.

It is normal to feel disconnected and overwhelmed for a while.
We all grieve in our own way and have our own time line.

If someone calls me that has lost a loved one two weeks ago I often support them through my free call but don’t take them on as a client right away. I will contact them after about three months to see how they are doing. Often they have found their own healing path. Said all that there are exemptions to that rule. (smile)

Many of us are capable to heal and cope with a loss by ourselves and/or the help of friends and family.

During our lifetime we have built resilience and coping mechanism that help us get through tough times. Humor, taking long walks, writing, art making might be your personal tools that you can access and help you heal.

What do you think are your tools?

Said all that some of us get caught up in a spiral of despair and longing for the loved one and we can’t seem to find a way out by ourselves. Friends are called back to their own lives or are immersed in their own pain and aren’t able to help anymore. This might be the time to seek help from a counsellor/art therapist.

If you or someone you know is wondering about counselling I offer a free Grief Relief call to help them getting clear on what they need right now to heal their broken heart.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

Did you ever ask for help?

16/3/2016

Do you ask for help when you needed in times of grief? HealingForGrievingHearts.com

What does your reality look like without your loved one?

Yesterday I was listening to TED talks. I find it always inspirational to hear personal stories and how people overcome challenges in their own unique way. We can all learn from each other.

One woman described a dream she had after her husband died.

She was driving in a car, knowing the destination and looking forward to the drive there. It was a sunny day. All of a sudden a big rock fell out of nowhere directly in front of her car destroying the road in front and landing her with the car in a ditch. She was stranded. The car had no fuel and she realized she was sitting on the passenger side.

She said that she knew that the rock was the death of her husband. She wasn’t surprised that she was sitting on the passenger side because he often drove when they where on the road.

This is her dream.

His death destroyed the road they were on. Their future together was gone. She didn't see any other road ahead. Her car was without fuel. She didn't have the energy to move forward. She was not able to take the steering wheel.

I would like to stay with this scenario a bit longer.

What would it take for her to get out of this situation?

Perhaps friends and family members stop and

bring fuel
try to push the car out of the ditch
one might take the steering wheel to get the car moving again
some come by to give her advice on how she could just move over to the drivers side and start the car

Will that help her?

What have you experienced that helped you?

Each and everyone of you is so unique that you have your own answers.

What would you do if that accident would happen in real life?

You would take out your cell phone and ask 911 for help or - call a friend with a tow truck. (smile)

It is OK to ask for help.

Take action today.

Blessings,
Jacqueline

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Is it possible to step away from your Grief?

When have you last taken a vacation?

What does it mean to grieve? What can you do to get over it?

Do I need counselling/art therapy?

Did you ever ask for help?

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