When I work with clients various feelings come up for them and they are never the same for any one.
Jackie explains,
"After my mother died, I felt an inexplicable push to create a book about grief. Words couldn't possibly capture the mess I felt, and so I used illustrations. The process of making the illustrations was deeply painful because it required me to face and capture every inch of my aching heart. There were weeks and even months that I couldn't work on the book because it hurt too much. I finally forced myself to finish the book by working on it daily and setting timers that counted how many minutes I had to sit there. My intention was to create a book that normalized the mess of grief and reached out to others who felt alone. I wanted to do this because I felt so alone. What I never expected was the joy that Grief is a Mess would bring back to me. Whenever someone points to an illustration in the book and says, "That's how I feel!" it's as if my soul connects with another. Every time I share the book with others, stories inevitably come pouring out that help me to see I am not alone. The book gently opens the door to conversations about grief and affords me the opportunity to connect with others on a topic that once was difficult to express. I never expected such richness to come into my life, especially not from something that originated in the mess that is grief."
I am wishing you a happy and healthy New Year. I am wishing you... that you will find the answers to your questions, the support that you need in difficult moments, the time for your self-care, the courage to reach out to others when you need help or a laugh, and lots of time in nature to breathe, walk, be, and hug a tree. My blessings to you and yours, Jacqueline Candles, chorals, green needle branches with red ribbons, every day little gifts till Christmas Eve, and the smell of cookies being freshly backed. This is what I remember from my childhood.
What I am missing most next to my mother is the home baked Christmas cookies. My mother was a master in cooking and baking and we always helped kneading, decorating and eating them as we went along. I am a strong believer in rituals and the comfort they can give you. Every year I am falling short on my ‘would like to do’ rituals before Christmas. (smile) With it comes often the feeling that I am letting my mother down by not continuing her legacy she had instilled in us. While I’m writing this I realize that the memories of her and her way of bringing light, humor, and warmth into my life comforts me to this day. Perhaps you and I have to become still. Instead of stepping into a rush of activity it might be better just to reflect on these warm and beautiful moments that we shared with our loved ones. It might become a new ritual to talk about all the things my mother did to make Christmas special. (smile) Do you want to give it a try as well? Let me know how it went. From my heart to yours, Jacqueline Holidays are coming our way. With them there might be even more reminders of the times we had with our loved ones. But instead of dreading these reminders I am challenging you to embrace them. Yes, step gently into your fun and sad memories. Share them, laugh about them, write them down and share them at a family dinner or with friends. Did you notice that I wrote share them twice? (smile) At first, you might find it difficult to share your memories. Every time you do it the memories become lighter, more colourful, perhaps even more joyful. You might even find yourself crying and laughing at the same time. Will it be easy? Probably not. Will you enjoy it? Perhaps not always. Will you feel more at ease? Perhaps. You can only find your own answers by stepping into the challenge and share your loved one’s life with others. Let me know how it goes here. From my heart to yours, Jacqueline |
AuthorJacqueline Steudler is an Art Therapist and Grief Recovery Specialist®. Categories
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