The last weekend turned into devastation for many people that visited London and had a good time out and about.
I often talk about how much walking in nature helps me to relax and to centre myself when I feel overwhelmed by feelings. These feelings can be grief, anger, sadness, fatigue ...
It is not only the fresh air and the walking but also the changed breathing pattern that helps me to relax and open my mind to new insights. Grieving can be a very physical sensation. There might be tension in our shoulders, back pain, or our nervous system becomes out of balance. The shock of the reality we are facing can lead us to a state of fight-flight response. Our body reacts with stress symptoms like shallow breathing, a compromised immune system, our logical thinking might be impaired too, while we try to comprehend what has happened to our life as we knew it. What can we do to find a new balance and taking care of ourselves? According to Traditional Chinese Medicine the lungs are a key area where we might hold the energy of grief. It is a good idea to open up our lungs by breathing deeply. This can be accomplished by
Repeat as many times as you wish. I find 3-5 times a good number. After you release your arms to your side take a deep breath and let it out with a sigh. If at any point you feel tears well up please give yourself the space to cry. Tears are a sign that our well of love is overflowing. Let the tears flow. By doing so you acknowledge your feelings. You release energy that might otherwise block you from moving forward. Let me know what your go to moves are so that I can share them with others. If you are a pet owner or you have lost a pet in the past your answer is probably yes. Often we are hesitant to show our grief openly about a pet loss because we think we might be judged by society. We might hear: How can one seriously be so sad about the death of a pet? Living with a pet means that we are living with a special companion. We can share anything with them. They don’t walk away from us when life gets tough. We can tell them our deepest feelings and know that they won’t repeat it to anyone else. They become our confidants. They never judge or criticize us. They stand with us no matter what happens in our life. Pets might even soften difficult family relationships. So why would we think that we will feel different than losing a human family member or friend? Why would we diminish what we feel, or hide it, or even be ashamed? It might have to do with the fact that often society doesn’t value the connection to an animal as equal as to a person. The most common advice grievers might get are:
You know better. Grief is grief no matter what the cause and it hurts. If you lost a pet recently or a long time ago, my heart goes out to you. Surround yourself with people you can share your feelings with. Talk about it so that you can acknowledge what you have lost and start healing your broken heart. Love to you, Jacqueline Before losing my mother, I had lost people that were close. I did understand that without them there would always be a scar on my heart. Life without them wasn’t the same anymore. Despite all that knowledge and my training as an art therapist I thought that one day that scar wouldn’t hurt anymore. After dealing with the shock and the pain I would just move on with my life thinking of them in a loving way but without pain. Transforming all my grief. Two weeks ago, my mother would have celebrated her 87th Birthday if she would still be with us. When the day came I couldn’t believe that despite her being dead for almost four years it was again a tough day. I realized once more that grief is an ongoing process that will last a lifetime. Yes, it does quietly change and transform into something new but still.... These special dates can bring to the surface a mix of love and grief. We might experience it as feelings of being ‘off’ and we are not quite sure why. Then we remember the closing in of a date or an anniversary and we feel the pain. It is like our body has stored the memory in our cells and when the day comes closer these cells take over. What helps me a great deal on those days are rituals and the permission that I give myself to have a good cry. Whether you are grieving a recent loss or one from long ago, my heart goes out to you. Take good care, Jacqueline Today I was looking through my blog posts. I realized that there are some great ones. (smile)
You might have missed them. I leave it up to you to dabble in them or just ignore these pointers. How Shame can stop you on your Healing path. Grieving brings up many overwhelming feelings. Shame can be one of them. I share thoughts inspired by Elizabeth Gilbert. Does the Feeling of Loyalty keep you from Healing? This post is about loyalty and what it can mean to your healing process. Do I need art therapy/counselling? Most of us don’t need outside help from an art therapist to get through the grieving process. So when should you look into it? What is your life’s calling? I am giving a short overview how it came about that I chose my profession/calling as an art therapist. Special Days in your life: My mother’s birthday. It is just that a look at my mother’s birthday and the rituals that I created to honour her and heal my broken heart. I would like to inspire you to create your own rituals. Wisdom Grows in Quiet Places This is a post about stillness. I hope you will find something in this list that will make you feel less overwhelmed and more connected to your own unique healing path. Like always you can get in touch if you want to speak or have questions. I am happy to answer your call or email. Take good care, Jacqueline |
AuthorJacqueline Steudler is an Art Therapist and Grief Recovery Specialist®. Categories
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