I hope you're doing well and your time (mostly) spent at home during the pandemic is a good one. I still find it sometimes tricky that I can't move as freely as before. However, I'm always happy to spend the summers at home in Nova Scotia. Glad to see that more places can open up.
It has been a while since I wrote here. Do you also feel like the pandemic time is a weird one? Time either seems to stand still, or days rush by you?
In April, I released my short-read ebook 'From Grieving to Grateful: How to Heal a Broken Heart'. Thanks to terrific reviews, it became a bestseller on Amazon Canada for three days. (hahaha)
Always fun to see those sales metrics at work. And yes, I admit that it did feel good. (smile)
Following that, I had so many ideas about how I could help more women.
I'm working towards a new offering for grieving women. I want to reach and help more on their healing journey and create a supportive community at the same time.
Just keeping you in suspense for now, but in about two to three weeks, I'm ready to talk about it more and let you in on the secret. (smile) Stay tuned.
We all know that the journey of grief is never a linear one. You and I, we have our up and downs. Some days we breathe in joy, and some days we are just deeply sad and miss our loved one so much that our heart feels like someone is squeezing it.
Be assured that I'm not here to tell you how to grief or that you shouldn't be sad or cry. Instead, I'm here to help you find your healing journey through this messy and sometimes chaotic feeling of grief.
I leave you today with a quote from a young woman that I admire deeply.
"We were scared, but our fear was not as strong as our courage."
- Malala Yousafzai
You might be scared of your feelings sometimes. I assure you there is courage in you. And you can tease it out with love and compassion towards yourself. A good laugh with a dear friend helps too. (smile)
From my heart to yours, take good care and stay safe,
PS: Do you have questions? Just press reply, and I'm happy to answer.
Are you interested in my ebook From Grieving to Grateful? Get it on Amazon. (You can download the free Kindle App on Amazon to read it on your mobile devices or desktop).
Jacqueline Steudler, Artist, Art Therapist, Creative Grief Coach, and Lover of Nature's Beauty
The other day I listened to CBC's program Tapestry with guest host Christa Couture.
The title of the show was Better ways to live with grief.
The heartfelt discussions were uplifting and at the same time touched me deeply.
I was glad to hear psychologist David Feldman debunking the 5 stages of grief.
If you have followed the Healing Notes for a while then you know that there are no stages and that everyone grieves in their own unique way. It can get messy.
Next up was actor and comedian Cariad Lloyd. Cariad hosts the podcast Griefcast. I have been listening to some of her episodes and they are worth listening to for sure.
Last but not least Christa Couture talked to artist and designer Emily McDowel. Emily creates empathy cards that are to the point and sometimes full of humour.
Emily gave advice on what to say and what not to say when you have a friend that is grieving. I was glad to find her cards in one of our local greeting card shops.
You can listen to this episode of Tapestry at
Let me know if this or a part of it resonates with you as well.
Wishing you a wonderful Sunday,
PS: Take a step forward and sign up for the Healing Notes that will arrive in your inbox every second Sunday.
If you want to create rituals and the many ways you can honour your loved one join the Healing Rituals online course.
Click the link to find out more at Healing Rituals.
The last three months have been full of losses for friends and family members.
An accumulation of loss and death was happening.
It made it difficult to be there for every one.
Despite all my knowledge of loss, grief, and support I found myself at a loss for words sometimes.
It was also the repetition of my words that made me feel unsupportive.
Instead I started to write cards and hope that they conveyed my heartfelt support better.
Do you remember awkward moments when you were in the midst of your grief?
Someone reaches out to you.
Only afterwards, you feel more alone than before?
Why is it so difficult to find the right words?
Is it because we have not learned how to empathize with a grieving friend?
Is it because some of our own grief is still lingering making it difficult to be there for others?
If you are grieving it is important to reach out to others.
To open yourself up to heal.
Perhaps you can forgive your fellow grief travellers for their helplessness and awkward words.
In any case.
Reach out to others.
Get the comfort you need to heal your broken heart.
Take good care,
PS: If you celebrate Easter and wonder how to get through these holidays have a look at the following posts I wrote about holidays. You can adapt everything to any holiday.
Where are you in your grieving process?
Are you able to be patient with yourself?
When grieving the loss of a loved one we often don’t see over the mountain of pain and sorrow.
We want the pain to stop.
Sometimes we convince ourselves that it is better to ignore our pain. We might distract ourselves with work, Netflix, or hours on social media.
If you have to look out for children you might think that it is better to be strong for them.
Unfortunately the reality is that being strong for others will prolong your grief. Hiding it from your children will teach them that grieving about a loved one is wrong. They might start to hide their feelings as well. You don’t want that.
"Grieving is an inherently human and healthy process. However, when we ignore the reality of the grieving experience, we prolong our pain and cause damage to ourselves. "
When we grieve, we have to integrate a new reality into our lives.
It is important that we have compassion for and with ourselves as we heal.
Take good care,
PS: Do you want to dive into rituals as healing tools? Healing Rituals online course is here.
Two weeks ago, a group of like-minded people met and we talked about all things life.
One of our group members shared her recent experience of grief and helplessness over the suicide of a loved one.
We all went silent. Most of us cried with her and for the family that was left behind with many unanswered questions.
There were no words to comfort. No words to make it easier for her.
There were only our open hearts to listen and be with her fully.
Just being there for each other and listening is healing.
We all know that it doesn’t take the pain of grieving away but the sharing helps to realize that we are not alone in this.
Are you in the midst of grieving or a painful anniversary date is coming your way soon? Reach out to people that are open to listen to you and/or just be with you.
May you all find loving support even when your own words are missing.
Take good care,
PS: Give me a call. I am here for you. ☎️
Grief will always hit us when we experience loss.
The last weekend turned into devastation for many people that visited London and had a good time out and about.
I get asked that question a lot. Here is what I say to those that aren't sure:
There are no clear defined stages of grief. Every person grieves in their individual unique way. Trying to put anyone into a defined stage of grief only leads to more hurt.
If anyone approaches us with their feelings of grief. We should just be quiet, open our heart and listen to that person without any judgement or advice. It is OK to say to them, that we have no words (for their grief).
Even if we have experienced loss ourselves in the past we still don’t know how our friends or family members feel when they experience the death of a loved one. We don’t know what they are feeling. Grief has no clear defined rules or timelines.
Please be there for each other, keep your heart open and your mouth shut (smile).
Listening from your heart is the biggest gift you can give in any grief situation.
Take good care,
Today I take you in my arms and hold you in a gentle hug.
A hug that includes all the loved ones we are missing today.
A hug that might send a smile to your lips while thinking of them.
A hug that gives you warmth and understanding for the pain in your heart.
I am here for you.
Take good care,
Jacqueline Steudler is an Art Therapist and Grief Recovery Specialist®.