Category: Griefsupport

Let nature help you heal your grieving heart

16/11/2016

Heal your grief. Walk in Nature.

You have heard me saying this many times.

Walking in nature can have a healing impact.

My tendency when I feel stuck in my thoughts is to get busy and take on more work than I can handle. This goes on until my body tells me it is enough. I will get a sore throat or, like last week, my back will start to hurt.

These are my weak points. They are telling me to take a moment and reflect.

It also happens because by being busy I have forgotten to move. I am not doing my ten minute yoga practice and I don’t go for regular walks.

So after I had ‘suffered’ and taken pain killers all week. On Sunday, I decided it was enough and I started to do gentle yoga moves every time I felt the pain in my back.
Breathing a lot and yes, swearing was involved too, because it hurt.

Today I went on a half hour walk in a nearby park. The smells in the forest were uplifting and wonderful. It was a concoction of decaying leaves, needle and sap from the evergreens, and wet earth.

I feel so much better today. I know it has to do with movement and the experience in nature this afternoon. I can still feel where the pain was but it is so much better.

Do you think a walk in nature could help your grieving heart too?
I know it won’t take away all your hurt but it might just give you a bit of comfort.

Don’t wait for the right moment. Just get dressed and go for a half hour walk even if it is in your own backyard.

Be outside, take in the smell of the fall season, and let nature do its healing.

I am sending you healing love.

Take good care,

Jacqueline

When will my grief be over? When will I recover from all this sadness?

1/11/2016

Last week a former Canadian politician died in an airplane accident with three other people. My heart goes out for their families. I cannot imagine what they are going through.

This incident flooded me with memories and deep grief about my nephew’s death. He died eight years ago in a Cessna accident as well.

Often I am asked: When will my grief be over? When will I recover from all this sadness?

There is no right answer to it. Sadness and grief can flood our feelings all of a sudden when there is a trigger, like the one with the airplane crash.

Eight years ago, the feelings were overwhelming and the crying didn’t want to stop.

This week it was a reminder how much I miss and love him and how much I still grief his death. But there is a difference between then and today. The feelings of sorrow are more gentle and not overwhelming anymore.

When will my grief be over? When will I recover from all this sadness?

Perhaps the most honest answer is: It will never be over.

Your feelings of overwhelming sadness will change towards a gentler form. You will change. You will be a new you having witnessed and felt the death of a loved one.

This loss will make you more empathetic, more loving, and more carrying if you chose to go that path.

It might be difficult right now but I trust in your resilience and inner healing power.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

Thanksgiving Ritual for your Grieving Heart

27/9/2016

Healing For Grieving Hearts - Rituals help to connect and heal.

Summer has moved on and Fall has started in earnest today or at least it was cold enough to remind me of what will come.

In two weeks we are celebrating Thanksgiving in Canada. It is a time of harvest, gratitude, and a time of family gatherings.

Stepping into the upcoming Holidays is not easy when you have lost a loved one. Their place at the table will be filled with memories, stories of their life, or a gentle minute of reflection.

I have talked many times about rituals. The coming Holidays might be easier on you, your family, and friends if you plan something special for these days. Rituals help to connect and heal.

Perhaps you all go for a walk together and take some colorful ribbons with you. Chose a tree and hang the ribbons on it.

One ribbon for your love to the person that died.
One ribbon including a wish for yourself or your family/friends.
A third one filled with gratitude for this day together or...

Hang as many ribbons as you wish. You could share your thoughts out loud or just hang your ribbons in silence on the tree.

This is also a ritual that you can do by yourself if you feel more comfortable this way.

I have done it by myself and with my family and both moments have their own unique calming feel to it, even when the tears are streaming.

Important is that you tell your friends and family how you want to spend the Holidays and be open to change your mind at the last second. (smile)

I am wishing you a gentle step into this new season.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

PS: If you don’t have any ribbons at home you might be able to find some at a local thrift store. Make sure you use fabric ribbons and not plastic ones. Nature will thank you. (smile)
PSS: If there are children involved you could add glass beads to the ribbons to add more colour.

Is mourning like breathing in and breathing out?

26/7/2016

The gentle Healing for Grieving Hearts program will help you to navigate through your unique grieving process.

You have lost someone. Each day unfolds in different ways and your mood changes.

How you feel right now might vary from two hours ago.

Grief is like a stress reaction. Our mind and body try to deal with a situation that implements a threat to our well-being. Like any other stress reaction it isn’t static nor the same for anyone.

Even if you have the feeling your grief is always there, if you look at your day closely you will experience that there are moments of relief.

Relief happens in small or brooder increments. Relief can happen when you work, when you are with others, when you read a book, when you do your laundry or cook. After those moments you might dive back into mourning.

Our focus moves back and forth between our loss and its implications and our immediate world with others and the present.

It is like many other processes in our body. We breathe in, we breathe out. We sleep, we are awake. Our muscles tens, our muscles relax.

We cannot breath in and out at the same time. We do it in cycles.

These cycles help us to stay healthy and engaged. These moments of relief show us our vigor and build upon our strengths.

Do you agree?
How do you experience your grief?

Let me know. I am happy to start a dialogue. I will answer all emails personally.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

When have you last taken a vacation?

21/6/2016

When have you last taken a vacation? I mean a real vacation. Leaving everything behind. Taking time to unwind and just be.

You might think: What has that to do with grief? What is she getting at?

Would you not like to take a time out from your grief, from feeling overwhelmed and sad?

You might think that it wouldn’t be right to look after yourself and invest in a day, weekend or even a week at the beach, on the river, reading on a mountain hill, or paint plain air in a public garden.

When we grieve we often neglect the things that can help balance our mood, that uplift our spirit, and help us heal.

What is the most enjoyable thing you liked to do by yourself before your loved one died?

If you did everything together and my prompt makes you even more heartbroken, take pen and paper and write all the things down that you enjoyed doing together. Perhaps these memories trigger tears but I hope that they also bring a smile to your lips thinking of all the adventures you shared.

Perhaps there is an activity that would not be too painful to take on again on your own. If you still can’t think of anything have a look at your childhood. What was it that you did a lot and that made you smile? It could be a small thing like jumping into a puddle.

This week I challenge you to take a time out.

Remember that you make your own rules. You can share your self-care time with a friend or family member. (smile)
It can be an hour long or a whole week. Just do it.

Let me know how it worked for you.

I am taking two weeks off. I will be in rainy and soggy Switzerland and might just take that jump into a puddle. I will be back with you on July 6.

Take good care of yourself,
Jacqueline

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Let nature help you heal your grieving heart

When will my grief be over? When will I recover from all this sadness?

Thanksgiving Ritual for your Grieving Heart

Is mourning like breathing in and breathing out?

When have you last taken a vacation?

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