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What is your biggest wish today?

14/1/2018

 
The future depends on what you do today. Mahatma Gandhi    HealingForGrievingHearts.com

January 14, 2018

I hope your new year has greeted you well. A new year always brings reflection about where we have been and where we want to go. 

What is your biggest wish today?

After the loss of a loved one. Your world can feel upside down. You are living a new reality that has been thrown at you and sometimes you wish that....

What is that one wish you have right now? Unfortunately you cannot bring back your old life with your loved one. So what is it?

Don’t dismiss it. (smile) Just think about if for a moment.
Feel into your heart and listen.
Perhaps it is a good idea to close your eyes to hear your inner wish better.

Now, write that wish on a piece of paper or in your journal if you have one.

Is it a wish that you feel is achievable or is it a wish that is so out there that it will take years to fulfill it?

Either way. Take that wish seriously.

Write it down.

Tomorrow look at that wish again and see if your wish has changed over night.

Does it need adjustment? If so write that change next to your wish.

Try to look at your wish every day for the next one to three weeks.
If you would like you can also visualize how your life will look like when your wish becomes reality.

Maybe your wish changes to something new over time. Or it stays the same.

By starting to acknowledge your wishes and your hopes your brain will start to function in a new way. It will start to think towards the fulfillment of that wish and start to plot and create possibilities to make it happen.

When we are grieving it is difficult for us to think of anything else than the pain and sorrow we feel. Sometimes it is good to give our brain something else to think about. 

Yes, such a "distraction" can lead to new insights of your life and reality.

It is possible that your thoughts will go in the opposite direction and will tell you that you will never be able to achieve that wish. If that happens, send me an email. I am here to help you. I answer every email personally.

You might find the above recommendation a bit too simple. I understand, but still….(smile)

Just try it out for one week. Give it just seven days of attention and see if you feel a change in your attitude and well-being after that week.

If you like to share your experience; I am here for you. 

Take good care,
Jacqueline

PS: The Healing Rituals course will launch on January 19, 2018.

PSS: Give me a call. I am here for you. ☎️  This is a free offer and no sales pitch.

How to honour the life of a loved one?

6/6/2017

 
There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self. -Aldous Huxley -HealingForGrievingHearts.com

The last weekend turned into devastation for many people that visited London and had a good time out and about. 

My heart goes out to all the families, friends, and colleagues that have lost someone or are caring for a loved one still in hospital. 

You might have heard the story of the young woman from Canada that was hit by the van and then died in her fiancé's arms. 

Her family found a way to honour her that I felt inspiring. Chrissy had worked for years in a homeless shelter and cared deeply for others. Her family asked the public and friends to honour her by doing something good for others. Like donating time, bringing clothing or food to a homeless shelter and telling the staff that “Chrissy sent me”. 

Immediately that sparked an outpouring of support to food banks and homeless shelters all over.

We as people connect to stories of loss and pain. We want to be there for each other. We appreciate when we are given a task or a gesture to honour the person that has died. 

Why do I write about this?

In the midst of our grief we sometimes cannot see that others grief too. It is helpful to tell others what they can do to honour the person that has died. 

I assure you it does not only help them but also you. 

When my mother died I told everyone to bake (or buy) a cake for someone else that could use a little pick-me-up. My mother loved to bake cakes for others. 

The emails and images I got from friends and family that took me up on this request were amazing. It made me cry but at the same time I had the feeling that my mother was really seen and honoured. 

Perhaps there is something you would like to do today, that would honour your loved one? Go do it, even if it feels a bit silly. 

PS: If you like to talk to someone outside your inner circle about the grief you experience click on the phone and make an appointment for a free call. ☎️ 
This free offer is open to former Healing for Grieving Hearts clients too. 


Are Rituals a Part of your Grieving Process?

6/9/2016

 
The gentle Healing for Grieving Hearts program will help you to navigate through your unique grieving process.

This summer (and it is still continuing) was beautifully warm, sunny, and humid. We had many guests that stayed with us to enjoy Nova Scotia.
This is the reason why I wasn’t updating my blog. I hope you understand. (smile)

A good friend of mine from Switzerland visited in August and I experienced my surroundings through her eyes. The awe that she had for natures beauty just resonated lovingly with my soul. I am so lucky to live here.

The first week of August also marks the anniversary of my mother’s death. It was special to have my friend with me going through my annual ritual of visiting a site at the Ocean that my mother had loved so much when she visited.

My plan was to reconnect with my mother by embracing the stillness and the view over the Ocean like I did in the last two years.

It was an absolute different experience this time.

My friend is very intuitive and can hold space for others wonderfully. That day however, she was very bubbly (smile) and I wasn’t able to feel the calm that I had felt in other years.

Soon I gave up on my expectations. We both talked about our memories of my mother and had some great laughs. It was a great day but in the end I was still missing that calm connected feeling from years past. A part of my ritual with my mother is that I tell her in letter form what has happened over the last couple of months. It always gives me new insights and clarity. I was missing that.

What it taught me again was, that we have to be careful how we plan our rituals.

I know now that I need this time to myself and will plan better next year. (smile)

Do you have any rituals to reconnect with your loved ones that have died?
If so, do you prefer to be alone or with a friend?
Please let me know. I always like to hear what works for others. 

Let me know if I can help you in any way to become more clear or find gentle healing strategies to help you navigate your grieving process. You can schedule a Free call here.


​I am here for you.

Take good care,
Jacqueline

Is mourning like breathing in and breathing out?

26/7/2016

 
The gentle Healing for Grieving Hearts program will help you to navigate through your unique grieving process.

You have lost someone. Each day unfolds in different ways and your mood changes. 

How you feel right now might vary from two hours ago. 

Grief is like a stress reaction. Our mind and body try to deal with a situation that implements a threat to our well-being. Like any other stress reaction it isn’t static nor the same for anyone. 

Even if you have the feeling your grief is always there, if you look at your day closely you will experience that there are moments of relief. 

Relief happens in small or brooder increments. Relief can happen when you work, when you are with others, when you read a book, when you do your laundry or cook. After those moments you might dive back into mourning.

Our focus moves back and forth between our loss and its implications and our immediate world with others and the present. 

It is like many other processes in our body. We breathe in, we breathe out. We sleep, we are awake. Our muscles tens, our muscles relax. 

We cannot breath in and out at the same time. We do it in cycles. 

These cycles help us to stay healthy and engaged. These moments of relief show us our vigor and build upon our strengths. 

Do you agree?
How do you experience your grief?

Let me know. I am happy to start a dialogue. I will answer all emails personally. 

Take good care,
Jacqueline

Are you Grieving or are you Healing?

19/4/2016

 
It is your Healing Path - HealingForGrievingHearts.com

At a networking event last week a woman told me that she had looked after her mother for the last couple of years. 

Her mother had Alzheimer's. She had to say good-bye to the mother that had raised her, to the friend that had been there for her when no-one else was, to the laughter and hardships of life they had shared. The strong woman she had known disappeared before her eyes. 

Going through that process she grieved all these parts of their life together. She said good-bye to her mother in many ways over the years. 

A few months back her mother died. Her friends tell her that she is now finally able to grief the loss of her mother.  

She told me that it was not grief that she was feeling. “I’m in a state of healing after all the years of saying good-bye. Finally I’m able to heal.” 

In that instance, I could feel the love she shared with her mother and the joy of her soul that she spoke her truth. 

Wherever you are on your healing path take one step at the time to move forward. You are healing. 

What is it you need to move from overwhelming grief to a calmer state of healing?

If you feel OK to share your experience please do so in the comments. You might just help someone else. 

Take good care,
Jacqueline


PS: If the tears don't stop and you need a compassionate and listening person outside your usual circle of friends and family I'm here. I offer you a free Grief Relief call. You will find clarity, release stagnant feelings, and move towards healing. Please get in touch by email jacqueline(at)healingforgrievinghearts.com or phone at +1-902-237-5011 to schedule a convenient time. 

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    Author

    Jacqueline Steudler is an Art Therapist and Grief Recovery Specialist®.
    ​
    Her program 
    Healing For Grieving Hearts enables you to move from overwhelming grief to a new sense of purpose. The program includes mindful action steps and therapeutic art interventions. Jacqueline facilitates the program in person or by Zoom. 
    http://www.healingforgrievinghearts.com

    Book a FREE 30-minute call.

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