 The last weekend turned into devastation for many people that visited London and had a good time out and about.
 This summer (and it is still continuing) was beautifully warm, sunny, and humid. We had many guests that stayed with us to enjoy Nova Scotia. This is the reason why I wasn’t updating my blog. I hope you understand. (smile) A good friend of mine from Switzerland visited in August and I experienced my surroundings through her eyes. The awe that she had for natures beauty just resonated lovingly with my soul. I am so lucky to live here. The first week of August also marks the anniversary of my mother’s death. It was special to have my friend with me going through my annual ritual of visiting a site at the Ocean that my mother had loved so much when she visited. My plan was to reconnect with my mother by embracing the stillness and the view over the Ocean like I did in the last two years. It was an absolute different experience this time. My friend is very intuitive and can hold space for others wonderfully. That day however, she was very bubbly (smile) and I wasn’t able to feel the calm that I had felt in other years. Soon I gave up on my expectations. We both talked about our memories of my mother and had some great laughs. It was a great day but in the end I was still missing that calm connected feeling from years past. A part of my ritual with my mother is that I tell her in letter form what has happened over the last couple of months. It always gives me new insights and clarity. I was missing that. What it taught me again was, that we have to be careful how we plan our rituals. I know now that I need this time to myself and will plan better next year. (smile) Do you have any rituals to reconnect with your loved ones that have died? If so, do you prefer to be alone or with a friend? Please let me know. I always like to hear what works for others. Let me know if I can help you in any way to become more clear or find gentle healing strategies to help you navigate your grieving process. You can schedule a Free call here. I am here for you. Take good care, Jacqueline  You have lost someone. Each day unfolds in different ways and your mood changes. How you feel right now might vary from two hours ago. Grief is like a stress reaction. Our mind and body try to deal with a situation that implements a threat to our well-being. Like any other stress reaction it isn’t static nor the same for anyone. Even if you have the feeling your grief is always there, if you look at your day closely you will experience that there are moments of relief. Relief happens in small or brooder increments. Relief can happen when you work, when you are with others, when you read a book, when you do your laundry or cook. After those moments you might dive back into mourning. Our focus moves back and forth between our loss and its implications and our immediate world with others and the present. It is like many other processes in our body. We breathe in, we breathe out. We sleep, we are awake. Our muscles tens, our muscles relax. We cannot breath in and out at the same time. We do it in cycles. These cycles help us to stay healthy and engaged. These moments of relief show us our vigor and build upon our strengths. Do you agree? How do you experience your grief? Let me know. I am happy to start a dialogue. I will answer all emails personally. Take good care, Jacqueline  At a networking event last week a woman told me that she had looked after her mother for the last couple of years. Her mother had Alzheimer's. She had to say good-bye to the mother that had raised her, to the friend that had been there for her when no-one else was, to the laughter and hardships of life they had shared. The strong woman she had known disappeared before her eyes. Going through that process she grieved all these parts of their life together. She said good-bye to her mother in many ways over the years. A few months back her mother died. Her friends tell her that she is now finally able to grief the loss of her mother. She told me that it was not grief that she was feeling. “I’m in a state of healing after all the years of saying good-bye. Finally I’m able to heal.” In that instance, I could feel the love she shared with her mother and the joy of her soul that she spoke her truth. Wherever you are on your healing path take one step at the time to move forward. You are healing. What is it you need to move from overwhelming grief to a calmer state of healing? If you feel OK to share your experience please do so in the comments. You might just help someone else. Take good care, Jacqueline PS: If the tears don't stop and you need a compassionate and listening person outside your usual circle of friends and family I'm here. I offer you a free Grief Relief call. You will find clarity, release stagnant feelings, and move towards healing. Please get in touch by email jacqueline(at)healingforgrievinghearts.com or phone at +1-902-237-5011 to schedule a convenient time. |
AuthorJacqueline Steudler is an Art Therapist and Grief Recovery Specialist®. Categories
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